Today was my birthday was my birthday. I wish i still felt as excited for my birthday as when i was little. Now i just find myself staring into space trying to stay clean or not kill myself. I get into school i want to cry. A few people said happy birthday i plastered a fake smile on my face and thanked them. As they left i took my mask off my act. My eyes have big black bags under them. I lay my head on the desk ignoring the teacher i don't really care at this point. I just want this endless pain to stop. It was now lunchtime and i had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. My eyes had been watering that whole day and i was continuously getting goosebumps but i just ignoring it hoping to forget about it. That never seems to work though. I got to german i hate german i'm so bad at it my mind just runs around in that lesson. I was going to have a flashback. I went to all together hub. A teacher tried to help but i just zoned out and began to cry as i just sat hopelessly as it happened. Today was my birthday wasn't i meant to be happy?
