You're Supposed To Be//Billie Eilish

chapter 19

willows pov:

i laid on billies bed, scrolling through social media. i had stalked billies private and public account a few weeks ago and now my whole instagram got spammed with edits of her. i didn't care, i think i even liked it. it's just so weird seeing her on there and then directly in front of me.

speaking of, billie walked in, an annoyed look on her face. i sat up.

"hey, what's wrong?"

billie threw herself on the bed, a loud groan coming from her.

"it's just talked with my management. they want to give me a date when i have to finish the album. i hate that so much. last time it was so horrible."

she fiddled with her rings as i got onto an eye level with her.

"they gave me a time limit back then and at the end i was so stressed that i hated writing music. and right now, everything is just so good, y'know. fin and i are working at our pace and we're all creative 'n shit. i just don't want that to change."

i pushed myself up at one elbow and looked at her expectantly.

"sorry. i'm talking too much again."

"no, it's okay. you can always talk to me, you know that."

billie smiled at me. she grabbed my right hand and held it against hers. my hand tingled and butterflies erupted in my stomach.

fuck. shit. fuck.

"your fingers are so much longer than mine."

what these fingers could do to you. fuck. i needed to stop this right now.

billie intertwined our hands and laid them on her stomach.

i studied her features in the red light. her defined jawline, her cute nose, her gorgeous eyes and her lips. i could write a book about her lips and how much i wanted to feel them on mine.

why am i thinking that shit?

they looked so soft and plumb. i bet they tasted like vanilla. just like how she smelled. she smelled really good.

staaaawwwpp.

"don't stare at me."

"i-i... i'm not."

fuck. she caught me.

billie had a cheeky grin on her lips. i turned my eyes away from her, thanking the red lights for hiding my immense blush.

"do you sometimes think about like... what's the point of living?"

billie asked out of nowhere.

"ahm- i do sometimes think about it..."

i thought for a second.

"but i don't know. it's a lot."

"true."

"what do you think is the point of living?"

"i think this is the only time we have, that we will remember. and what happens in the time that we live is all that matters but only as long as we remember. when we die we probably won't remember anything anymore and then everything is senseless and that makes everything senseless again. so there isn't really any point."

"that hurt my head... but i think you're in some kind right."

i thought again.

"but because we die in the end we especially need to use the time that we remember, don't you think?"