A Book of Poems ✔

'What is it with me' / Poem Eleven

What is it with me,

it's not that i'm lacking anything that anyone has,

Or am I?

I tell myself i'm not

But my reflection tells me otherwise,

I hate it,

I hate it so much,

Everytime I think about it my heads hurt, my heart aches and I just feel like to sob,

Im nothing but a loser and nothing can change that,

The thoughts in my head takes over my whole being,

Dragging me deeper and deeper in the darkness which had formed couple months ago,

I try to get out but it's no use, i'm not strong enough, i'm not brave enough, I'm not bold enough to stand up to my inner demons,

When it first started it just felt like the dislike I have for seafood,

But it's much bigger now,

It's taking over my entire being and I'm afraid it will swallow me soon,

But I try to hid it,

To hide the hurt,

The pain,

I hide it through the smile I send to people that's also going cold by the minute,

I try to look at positive stuff like how much I enjoy eating ice cream, listening to music, writing creative pieces and looking at nothing in particular while making my imagination run wild,

But it doesn't work it just doesn't

Every creative piece I write comes out like this one,

A sad story and a fairy tale ending,

I stare at nothing but I'm think of something,

Something like,

What is it with me,

it's not that i'm lacking anything that anyone has,

Or am I?

I tell myself i'm not

But my reflection tells me otherwise,

I get angry for simple reasons and it's not even a joke,

I try to crack a joke but the room only become more tense,

I try to think clear things just erupt my mind,

I try to do things right they always end up wrong,

To be honest i wish I could just make this problem small just like how i made these words smaller,

I wish my problems had a font size because God knows,

i would put it to one

What is it with me,

it's not that i'm lacking anything that anyone has,

Or am I?

I tell myself i'm not

But my reflection tells me otherwise,

"Stop stop",

I scream at myself refusing to believe that any of this is true

it isn't,

I love myself, I can sing, I can dance, I can ace my classes, I can cook, i can do anything i want,

I just need to believe in myself,

The positive thoughts have come but that doesn't stop the negative thoughts from whispering,

However I try to block them out and for once I prevail,

If i continue thinking like this things will go smooth,

And i'll probably finally find the font size to my problems,

What is it with me,

it's not that i'm lacking anything that anyone has,

Or am I?

I tell myself i'm not

But my reflection tells me otherwise,

It's not me that's the problem,

It's you,

You were the one who cause this to me,

Judge me without proof,

Call me unkind names,

Turn me into a fool,

But soon you will have no effect on me,

There's nothing wrong with me,

I'm not lacking anything and i'm sure about that,

I'm just special that's all,

And if you don't like it then bite it because my reflection agrees with me.

AUTHOR NOTE:

THIS IS MY LONGEST POEM... LMAO So yeah this was an assignment too, I'm not sure if I did what she told me to do... lol that rhymed. I just wrote something and this is based on Christopher and blah blah blah... YOU DON'T KNOW CHRIS???... go check out my action novel.

Instructions: Use the Self Awareness Skill to create a poem explaining the importance of focusing on the positive aspect of life. Be prepared to present your poems in the next class.

Steps in the Self Awareness Skill

Identify your positive qualities

Identify your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes

Understand the emotions that you feel in different situations and your triggers

Examine your needs, values and beliefs

Recognize how you feel about yourself and who/what influence those feelings

Analyze the behaviours that improve and/or worsen your performance/conduct

Evaluate how "self" impacts others (How does your attitude, needs, feelings, beliefs, and/or behaviours affects other?)

Explore ways in which you can improve your behaviour for the future

YOU TELL ME DID I DO THE RIGHT THING....

Hope you liked it until next time,

Hasta luego