The one with Mrs. Bing.

3.6K 90 4
                                    

"Aren't there any conscious men in this city for you?" I walk into Mon's apartment after work to hear Chandler talking. "What did I miss?" I ask completely confused. Monica gives me a run down about the guy she caused to get hit by an ambulance of all things. I give Mon a look when she mentions to 'whoo hoo'ing and she shrugs sheepishly. 

"He doesn't have anyone" Mon defends when Rachel mention how Mon and Pheebs had been at the hospital to look after him. "Yeah. We feel kind of responsible"

"I still can't believe you said whoo hoo. I don't even say whoo hoo" I hand up my jacket and sit next to Joey as he says this. 

"Oh! She's coming up!" Rach says excitedly and I steal some of the popcorn that Mon brings over. "What are we doing? You just told me to come over and hang out." I ask looking at Rach. "Chandler's mom is going to be on tv."

"Oh, cool. What does she do?" I look over at Chan who was standing against the back of the couch. "She's a romantic novelist. Nothing you would have read." I nod since Chan knew I either read the classics or fantasy.

I turn my attention to the tv and watch the night talk show when Chandler picks up the controller. "You know we don't have to watch this. Weekend at Bernie's is on showtime. HBO and cinemas."

"No way!" Rachel slaps the controller out of his hands and Joey catches it before it can hit me in the face. I mutter a thank you and he nods before moving the remote away from Chandler as he looks up at him "Oh come on. She's your mom."

"Exactly. Weekend at Bernie's. Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20, 30 times!" I laugh at Chandlers comment.

"Chandler I've got to tell you. I love your mom's books. I love her books. I cannot get on a plane without one. I mean, this is so cool." Rach says as she follows Chandler into the kitchen. 

"You wouldn't think so if you were 11 years old and all your friends were passing around page 79 of mistress bitch."

"Come on, Chandler. I love your mom. I think she's a blast." Ross says and I steal some of his cereal while he's not looking. "Yeah because she's not your mom."

"Buona sera." (good evening.) I repeat the sentiment to Paolo when Rachel lets him in.  

"When did rigatoni get back from Rome?" I slap Ross over the back of the head with just enough force for it to sting but not so much that it would actually hurt. "Last night"

"Really? so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?" Mon gives her brother a worried look as he chuckles to himself "Must have been a dream I had, but, phew!"

"Hey, hey, hey, She's on" At Phoebe's words we all turn our attention back to the tv just in time to see a slim nosed blonde in a fitted cream skirt and blazer. "Ah! Nora Bing" We all look at Paolo for a second before looking away. 

"Before we get to the book now what is this about you being arrested in London?"

"Your mom was arrested?" Pheebs asks in shock and Chandler shushes her. "Shh! Shh! I'm busy beaming with pride."

"This is kind of embarrassing,  but... occasionally, after I've been intimate with a man."

"Now why would she say that's embarrassing." We all shush Chandler and continue listening.

"I just get this craving for Kung Pao Chicken" Nora says, never actually answering the question.

"That's too much information!" Chandler yells at the tv as if his mother could hear him.

"So now you're doing this whole book tour thing. How's that going?"

"Fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate. But I get to see my son, who I love."

Angel's bakery - very slow updatesWhere stories live. Discover now