blacked out days

monday, 7:08pm

we had just arrived at the club. i grabbed my fake id out of my pocket and showed the bouncer. i never really had an issue getting in, my ID looked real enough and ryan was 19.

i was hit by a wave of lights and music as soon as i walked in. ryan saw some people he knew so he walked off to see them and i saw a guy from my college.

"you alright callum?" i shouted trying to beat the sound of the music.

he looked out of his head and probably was. i knew he took pills and shit because i saw him at the festival doing it.

"what'd you take?" i asked curiosly.

"why? do you want some?" he sniggered.

"depends what it is" i smiled.

he told me it was coke and slipped some into my pocket. i went into the bathroom, watching for ryan and took it. i was already feeling dizzy because of the alcohol. i checked myself in the mirror making sure i had no powder in my nose.

20 minutes passed and i felt amazing. i walked up to ryan and started dancing with him. my heart was pounding and i felt in an ectasy. he was laughing and asking why i was so happy. i kissed him and in that moment i felt on top of the world. i could feel his phone vibrating. "one second it's my mum" he said into my ear as he ran to the exit to answer.

i looked around again for callum and went over to him. "hey, do you have anymore?" i asked him. he said that he'd sell me some more. i followed him into the bathroom while looking around for ryan. i didn't see him so i knew he wouldn't find out. i lifted out the money from my pocket and gave callum it while he slipped me the bag in my other hand. i poured some on my debit card and made three lines and as i was on my third, ryan walked into the bathroom.

"what the fuck eli!" he screamed pushing past callum to get to me. he grabbed the bag off me and threw it down then grabbed my face. "what the fuck do you think you're doing!" he said angrily. he let go off me pushing me to the side and went for callum. i tried to stop him but he was too strong. he pinned callum up against the wall and started punching him in the face and stomach. callum fell to the ground and as he fell ryan kicked him hard. ryan was screaming all sorts at him. i'd never seen him this angry before. he turned round to me and gave me a look i'd never seen. rage filled his eyes. he stormed out and i followed after him. i kept calling his name but he kept walking. i couldn't get to him because there was so many people in front of me and i lost sight of him. fuck.

i ran back into the bathroom to check on callum. three of his friends were there. "was it him!" one of them exclaimed as i walked in, immediately two of them lunging for me. callum told them no. i apologised over and over and callum said to leave it. one of his friends said i should leave so i did. i left the club and wandered the town. i came across another club so i went there, i couldn't be alone right now anyways.