Loki x Reader: Into the MCU

Chapter 15: Waiting

Twenty minutes passed and Loki was successfully maintaining his stare. You decided to mess back by spouting random nonsense.

"When you clean your shower, are you your shower's shower? Why do your lips not touch when you say the word touch, but do when you say the word separate? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? If I get a clone and kill it, is it considered murder or suicide? If life is unfair to everyone, does that make it fair? If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?"

"It won't work," he said.

"What won't?" you asked, feigning ignorance.

"Annoying me enough that I'll look away."

"Is that what you think I was doing? You give me too much credit, that would be manipulatively obnoxious of me, and we both know I'm anything but."

He gave you a genuinely amused smile.

"You just can't handle the mind-blowing nature of my paradoxical thoughts," you said, standing up and stretching.

"Oh please," he scoffed, "Only humans could conjure such idiotic questions to waste their miserable live pondering over."

"Ok then answer them."

"The answers you seek are purely subjective as well as pointless."

"Well, if something is subjective, then it can be debated. And debate breeds critical thinking and logic, thus stimulating the mind and enhancing one's ability to form coherent and intellectual arguments as well as discussions. There are worse ways to spend one's time, are there not?" you finished in a fancy voice, once again mocking his speech.

He looked at you with actual surprise.

"Did you just say something intelligent?"

"It is one of my many talents, yes."

He gave another eye roll and looked away from you.

"Ha!" you shrieked.

He whipped back to you startled.

"You looked away! I win! The power of pointless paradoxical questions never fails."

"So you do admit they are useless?" he said victoriously, trying to grab whatever triumph he could out of the situation.

"Oh, 100%" you laughed, flipping your hair once to get it all behind you before tying it up with your hair tie. "You must feel even dumber for losing to pointless questions as opposed to actual philosophical ones, so I'd wipe that look of victory off your face."

It was now his turn to walk around the room irritated.

"Heimdaaall," he cried, "Any century now would be appreciated!"

You took this opportunity to test out the throne. You decided it was actually rather uncomfortable, but still awesome. Loki turned around, and the look of horror on his face was the funniest thing you'd seen since you arrived in this universe. You laughed so hard you were hunched over by the time he reached you.

"WHAT do you think you are doing?"

"What does it look like?" you answered through laughs.

"That throne was built for kings!" he growled.

You sat up and wiped away the tears.

"Then why do you get to sit in it?"

That was a mistake.

You were rolling down the throne steps in a second, landing hard on your back at the bottom. Loki stood over you and placed a foot on your chest, stepping down hard.