Loki x Reader: Into the MCU

Chapter 36: [Insert Title I'll Think of Tomorrow When I'm Not Tired]

Notes: I have not proof-read this as much as I should, so sorry for anything I missed.

You smiled at the letter, forgetting, briefly, that you were in front of the team.

"No no no, don't smile! This isn't a smiling affair, ok? He just strapped you down to a table and fried your insides!" Tony marched the distance to you, snatching the note from your hands.

"That's a gross way of putting it," you mumbled as he scanned the contents of the page.

"Listen to this guy!" he exclaimed to the others, "He holds no grudges??? Oh, great, I was really worried there for a second that you'd hurt his feelings! And get this, 'I am sure, despite your desire to be angry, you are equally as understanding of my position'?! Look though! He took no pleasure in hurting you, that's good!" Tony continued sarcastically.

You remained silent, waiting for him to finish before asking for the letter back. He obliged, but not before noticing your stance. The rest of them had picked up on it as well, all eyes now on you.

"What?" you asked, feeling uncomfortable under their gaze.

"You really aren't angry," Nat said.

"Your demeanor and facial displays as Mr. Stark criticized the letter would indicate you do not find fault with the words as he does," Vision elaborated.

"No, no I'm mad at being electrocuted, guys, who wouldn't be?!"

"Yes, I can tell you're simply overcome with the need for vengeance," Valkyrie mocked.

"Vengeance is stupid," you responded bluntly, "It's what keeps the cycle going. Zemo did what he did because of his burning desire for revenge, can't you see it's the problem here? Like it or not, Zemo isn't wrong about me...I do understand. Do I agree? No, but I don't have to. He doesn't agree with me, but he's not lying when he says he respects my decision and didn't want to hurt me."

"This whole defending villains thing has got to stop," Tony warned, "You'll admire them right into your grave if you can't discern the difference between a lost cause and someone worth saving!"

You glanced to Loki, whose jaw tightened. His eyes were focused on Stark, but they flickered sadly to you, both of you making eye-contact for the smallest of moments.

"Zemo's problem, Tony, is that he's deemed all of you a lost cause! It's not your fault, but the truth is that you murdered his family! Do I hold it against any of you? No, because you do your best to save people, and sometimes you can't save them all. Sometimes mistakes are made, and you have to do your best to move past it. You don't wallow in self-loathing, you don't shift the blame, you pick yourself up and try to do better! Zemo can't see that about you guys, because he is so blinded by his crushing grief. He made a promise to his dead family, and being unable to keep it is breaking him! Maybe he is a lost cause!" you tossed your hands in the air, "Maybe I should say 'To hell with their motives, I'm gonna hate them!' But you know what? That's the easy way out. Hating someone is a lot easier than understanding them, because now you're in a tough spot. How do you jostle being tortured, yet feeling sympathetic for your torturer? You think it's an easy place to be in?? I don't know what to feel about any of it! But do not come at me for trying to understand villains, Tony! Villain and hero depends greatly on who is telling the story. To him, you're the villains. So I will never excuse his actions, but I can damn well explain them, even sympathize with his motives. Holding out hope that people like him can be healed can yield far better results than deeming him a hopeless case. Was Wanda a lost cause? Or Nat? Or even you Tony? Sometimes, taking the time to understand a villain can be the best thing we ever choose to do." You looked over at Loki during the last part. His eyebrows were raised innocently, taking in everything you were saying, but a soft smile broke on his face as you finished.