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A usual part of Jiseol's agenda these days when not training was laying in bed, unmoving and eyes glued to the ceiling. She would drown herself in hundreds of thoughts, not even noticing that she has fallen asleep after long minutes of thinking.
Her eyes were about to shut close when a knock jolted her awake. "Yes?" She replied weakly.
The door opened and a head peaked through the gap, not letting himself in fully. "Hey um do you mind talking for a while?"
Yes, leave me alone. "No, go ahead." Jiseol sat up and moved, making space for Yunho to sit.
The lad sighed, "Um I don't know how to say this, but the boys and I are genuinely concerned. For the past week and a half, all we've heard are cries from your room. It kinda keeps us up because it's painful to hear that you are hurting. And if you're okay with sharing it with me, I'd like to know what's hurting you so much."
She swallowed thickly and looked away.
"I know it may be hard or you aren't ready yet but we really want to help you. If I'm going to be honest, it hurts me that you're taking the pain all alone. Share it with me, so you won't have to take all the weight."
Damn, he's good with his words. "Um remember San?"
"Yes, what about him?"
"After the Lees found out, the princess visited me and I begged her to let me see him one last time to say my farewell, but it was too painful and I couldn't bring myself to say it. Instead, I told him that I didn't want to meetup anymore and that it had to end some day anyway. He looked....he looked so sad, confusion was an understatement from his expression, but it was better than seeing his heart break right in front of me because of my goodbyes. That way I could take most of the burden instead of him. It didn't work though. Some things were said, one thing lead to another and I told him I never loved him, just because it sounded easier for the both of us to let go. Maybe if I hurt him, he'd hate me and let go off me quickly so he would hurt only for a short while. He asked me if I really meant it and before I could respond, he told me to give him my answer 3 crescent moon from then."
Yunho was speechless. Never had he seen Jiseol so desperate and pained. He could hear the misery lacing her voice. He didn't think there was an existing word or sentence that could somehow comfort her even in the slightest.
"Yunho...."
"Yeah?"
"I know you and the princess are dating but just this once please take my side and cover up for me if I do decide to go."
"When have I not taken your side? Jiseol, listen, I'm always and will always be by your side. Remember that, okay? I will help you get through this so don't worry. Don't be afraid to talk to me about these things. I'm here for you and I mean it." He leans in and gently engulfs her into the best hug he can give, rubbing her back up and down while she rested her head on his shoulder.
"I heard from Wooyoung what you think about me now. Didn't we make a promise that nothing will change? You can still come to my room at any time for anything. Especially that evening when you went through a rough night with San. In fact, I'd appreciate it a lot if you came to my room because it'd mean you still trust me. It's not weird, Jiseol. Princess Sewon understands. When I asked her to be my girlfriend, I already explained to her the extent of our relationship and she knows you won't cross the line. She told me she's fine with it. Besides, now she knows you love someone else.
"It's going to be okay, Jiji. Let it all out, don't hold it in. It's bad to bottle them up, you know that. Then, when you're done letting it out, you can decide what you want to do when that crescent moon arrives. I'll be with you at every step of the way. Little by little, okay? Progress is still progress. Heal your heart slowly. It's been through so much already, it deserves some rest, doesn't it?"
That night was indeed the most emotional night Jiseol has ever experienced. It was spent pouring out her thoughts and feelings to Yunho, apologizing ever so often about it while he reminded her it was more than okay. At one point, her cries eventually calmed down as she fell asleep in Yunho's embrace, listening to him softly speaking about whatever came to his mind when she asked him to do so to distract her.
Tough people have a breaking point. This was Jiseol's. Everything became too much and her heart was too worn out to get through everything alone. What she needed was the right person to get back up; and that person is Yunho, only Yunho.
Time went by slowly as everyday started to feel repetitive again; just like life before meeting San. There has been little to no improvement in Jiseol's mood, ever so often spacing out, doing the wrong things, and overall just out of herself.
Her chest still felt heavy, spending the first few nights weeping as it was the only time she was completely alone and people were asleep so less to no people would hear her. For the rest of the days, it was as if she had squeezed out the last bit of tears in her, laying awake at night instead of weeping.
Eventually, the day before the third crescent moon came. Jiseol has still no idea if she was going to go or not. She preferred to avoid thinking about it.
The lass loosely gripped her spoon that was submerged in the bowl of porridge Yunho made, staring into who knows what and unblinking and unmoving.
"Um J-Jiseol...."
No response.
"Jiseol....?"
"Eris." Spoke up Mingi in a louder and firmer voice than the two, taking her out of her mindless spacing out.
"Y-Yeah?"
"Are you going to eat or not? Besides the fact that Yunho's slightly hurt because you're not eating your favorite porridge made by him, you've gotten a hell lot skinner than you were before and that is not good at all. Wooyoung and I do not exactly know what happened and if you don't want to tell us, it's okay. But take care of yourself, please."
"Mmm," Even after everything Mingi had said, she remained unfazed and distracted.
The red head sighed, taking the spoon and bowl of porridge from her and gently made her face him. "Open up. Yunho made it extra yummy for you. It's good right?"
"Mmm,"
The rest of breakfast was spent like that, Mingi baby talking Jiseol while feeding her. Yunho and Wooyoung exchanged a glance of concern before continuing with their own meals.
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