Trauma

Are all like that..? [Part 3]

 Then there he was... That boy that came after Lola, changed Silver's life. She met him online. He was with light brown hair, blue eyes, but not as blue as the ocean, small lips, but enough to say  things, no one understands, small face, skinny, tall . That boy wore jeans and a basic blue t shirt. His eyes were light, but his soul only gave darkness and sadness. From another city, forcing others to do what he is scared of. But was he really scared, or was he empty? Why did he do those things? Or was it without reason at all? 

 At first he was really kind, helpful and things out there were happy. Then these moments that made Silver empty, hopeless, careless, emotionless showed. Did he loved her or didnt he? Were these the ,,normal,, things people did in relationships? Was all this with Lola and the others some kind of a joke, non reality? Silver was scared to know.. 

 Before, when she was little since then, she didnt like to show her body. Was it fear.. She still doesnt know Its just so uncomfortable for her to do it. And that boy made her, forced her to do it. By the time she got used to it. She liked it at first. She liked the idea of someone liking her looks. She liked the idea of being showed and finally found. But then all of the relationship was about that. She didn't felt like herself. She was uncomfortable, unstable. She wanted all that to stop, all the people on the world to hear her, she was screaming inside but his heart was deaf for her. She felt like she doesnt have a choice. Her tears didnt stop him tho. He was smiling while her skin was burning. He was saying those things... things with fear in them..

- If you dont show your body tonight i will leave you.

- If you dont promise me to let me use your body and play with it when i come in your city, I will unalive.

- If you dont suck on it, when i come, I'll block you. 

 She was scared of him. She was scared of being alone. She was scared of everyone calling her names. She was scared of sharing. 

 He knew she didnt like that, but he was too careless about that. 

 Silver had nightmares about it, every night, she saw 5 men around her chasing her or sometimes she saw him replacing these men. She thought that was the key to be loved, she thought she didnt have a chance and if she does something else she will be alone again. She didnt want that. She liked the company he made her. But what was the point of having company if you are nothing, if you are someone's doll? She felt like no one.