Trauma

Unknown [part 4]

13 July 2013. Hot outside, sunny. Everything is yellow. There is this girl, reading in her room. Her room looked nice, clean. The floor was sparkling. Birds were singing their songs. The air was fresh as this little girl's room. July 13 2021. Now this girl's room was a mess. Her clothes were on her bed. The floor was dirty. Outside was raining. There were dirty glasses, cigarretes, bottles on the floor of the room. That girl was Silver. 

 That boy hasnt texted her since 3 days. She was happy without him. Happy without the shame. Happy. Silver didnt worry about him. The only worry she had was him to return. She didnt want him. She was good without him. 

 The next day, 4;44 am. She got a text. The text was written by him. 

- Sorry for not texing you.. I had problems. Me and my friend are in bad friendship right now.. How are you? You dont seem to care..

- Uh.. I am good..I care, I do. I missed you.- Silver lied.

- Oh, then why didnt you text me? You are so toxic. You know what.. Dont text me, you dont need me. 

- No wait.. Dont go.. I didnt text you because you made me uncomfotable and i needed a rest.. I am sorry, please dont go..

- How is that? I am such a good person. Its all your fault. 

- Please just forgive me.

- Ok it will be fine if you send me your beautiful body i really missed.

- Please dont do this to me.. I dont feel good.

- Do you want to break up? You will be lonely again, bored,messed.

- Fine..

 Silver sent it. She was sick. Is this the truth of her life? Is this what she wanted? Is this what she deserved? 

 20 July. Sun showed up after the rain. Silver hasnt gone anywhere since then. She was empty again. This time for 2 days. She thought about it. She didnt want that anymore. There were lots of things he did that made her uncomfortable, even if I dont tell you all of them. She broke up with him and blocked him. She was happy for the next 3 weeks. She was going out with friends, played games, read, listened to happy music. She didnt tell anyone for the next mount. She was happy hiding it. It never gotten away tho. Sometimes she imagine what would it be like if she told her mum or friends. Would her life get better? She was afraid. She thought people would make fun of her or tell her its for attention. That feeling was killing her inside. She was 13 when this happened. She never wanted to have s*x after that. She found it bad, scary. Silver had trauma.