Trauma

I remember..[Part 2]

 Well, they just weren't meant to be. That's what i can say about Lola and Silver. Not only them all Silver's relationships. Some were agressive, some abusive, some lovely, some were sick. They were either toxic or wasted a little less then a month. Even that experience of hers she felt lonely pretty often. At some point half of her day was fun, watching shows, playing games, following meme pages, going out with friends, getting drunk for fun, dr*gs. The other half she spent in the dark corner in her room. sitting with crossed legs, watching the night, sometimes there was rain, sometimes she even did it wen it was sunny, she liked listening to music or complained about her looks in the mirror. While her makeup was falling out of her face because of her tears, she acted like another person, not the always happy Silver, the kind Silver. Her friends didnt know that part of her life. It was locked for them and only really special people could unlock it from her heart. 

 Lola made her happy. That was the point. She didnt feel like she needs to hide. She felt safe, pretty, and Lola even stopped Silver from her unhealty habits for a moment. She never felt this safe with men. 

 They had really good memories together. Sometimes had jokes that only they could understand:

- My mum is worse than your ex- Lola said

- Oh please after you said that I dont think you are the one that needs to be sad- Silver.

- Come on, you know i am kidding..

Lola never was a pretty girl, but Silver couldnt care less. The thing about them was the adrenaline, the happiness, the euphoria their moments made, it was like the world stopped for a few seconds and then the nightmare continued, but these 'few seconds' were amazing. They were like molly ( type of dr*g). 

 Bad thing about Lola was her way to manipulate and that Silver let her do it. Lola never asked for n*des, never got much jeloust, never annoyed so much, but she could make someone obsessed with her and she used that one of her skills. Silver became just like her because of that, they had the same opinions and looks. 

 Lots of people shamed Silver for the relationship they had, but she never cared before the broke up. All she cared about were the happy and careless times she had everyday in the summer. And that may seem a bit selfish but she needed a real rest from all the bulsh*t in her head. She needed to hear her voice in her head, to touch her thoughts and close her eyes for a moment. 

 All I know that the lonely girl in the corner now, was happy then. She wasnt empty.