Karlie, Toni and Taylor

Chapter 4

        Taylor went to her side, and Karlie hers, their path were separating from that moment, their lives who were intertwined, were now a memory and apart from each other. The green eyes girl walked to Toni, in her thoughts, broken in the inside but still a smile on her face, this time a fake one and her first love felt it. She took her hand and did some circles in the back, tightened hardly but tenderly at the same time to make sure that Karlie knew she was here for her, and that she would always be. The younger girl who lived a chaos inside of her, memories of her first time with Taylor, their first kiss, the awakening in her arms, every little beautiful things who made her happy, like true happiness were now memories and falling apart. She struggled to keep a straight face but the presence of Toni reassured her, she caught a waitress with glasses of champagne and took it rapidly, drank it all in once and turned to the blonde girl who were surprised by what just happened, smiled to reassure her that she wasn’t going to judge anyone tonight. Then the green eyes girl said « Let’s go dance, I want to dance with you !! ».

When they finally reached the dance floor, Karlie had stopped 3 waitress, drinking faster than ever and felt the alcohol blurring her thoughts, it was the only thing she needed now, to forget Taylor’s existence, and everything she had done for her but more importantly her mistake, her fucking one night mistake, the biggest one of her life. She felt angry at herself for being so weak over a girl who chose her career over her, like who did that? Fuck you and your fucking man, biatch. She was in so much pain that she hated the blue eyes girl, and she even more hated herself to had fallen in love with her. She turned to Toni, to look at her and saw the girl who were enjoying the party, doing some dance moves on the floor, being happy, simple joy, she was so positive, something that Karlie had been before her relationship with Taylor. Of course there was awesome times with the older girl but the pressure and everyone who controlled their life made the result of it being negative, like the sun who were living inside of the younger girl, had an eclipse, shadowing by every little stars living around them. Now she felt free, free to do whatever she wanted, if she wanted to fuck the guy who were dancing behind Toni, she could, if she wanted to fuck Toni she could, she had nobody to tell her what she had to do and this feeling had been for too long lost and gone. 

Taylor arrived at her table, she was sad, empty, pointless like if the purpose of her life was gone, like missing and would never be found again. She sat at her chair, mechanically, she didn’t want to talk, especially not to her publicist, everything was her fault and the fault of her management and her team. But at the end of the day, it was her who made the decision, like she clearly said to Karlie that she chose her career over her, she didn’t really regret it because she thought about it for a long time when they were apart. But it’s not because it was a thoughtful thing that it wasn’t a painful one. Calvin knew about her relationship, he had to know what the contract was for, and he understood when she came back that she was sad. Taylor didn’t really know a lot of things about him, about his personal life, but they were close now, as close friend, like he gave her good advices in the subject of music, beats and she enjoyed having time with him but right now she needed a hug, a big tight hug, like she could crash into arms. 

She whispered « can you do me a favor? can we go back home please? ». He nodded and started standing next to her, pulling his coat on him, she stood in front of him and then crashed in his arms. She smelled his perfume, and felt quickly his arms around her, rubbing her back, she felt safe and in security. He was gentle and tender as a friend, she knew how he acted as a boyfriend, he was not a trustful one, but as a shoulder to cry on, he was someone really good at it. She started to have tears in her eyes but quickly sent their away with her fingers and thought about something happy even though inside of her, her entire world were crumbling. They walked hands in hands to their car, paparazzi yelling at them to know about their private life, Calvin said « not now, please, let us live our life », he was angry and said it in a firm tone. Taylor felt safe with him, when the door were closed and the car started to drive away of the media’s craziness, she turned to him, resting her head on his shoulder, he pushed him away to readjust her arm which was now around her shoulder so she could put her head on him. He was rubbing her shoulder, and she cracked, like a weak feather, she started to cry with every pain she accumulated, she was sobbing on him when she heard the car stopped signaling they arrived at Taylor’s apartment. He said « Do you me to stay tonight? », she didn’t really think a long time and looked at him, in his eyes and nodded to say yes.