Ice Cold

Eddies POV

It had been 2 days since the doctors at the First Presbyterian saved Buck. Since then he'd been placed in a medically induced coma, after uncertainty about the amount of brain damage the hypothermia caused as well as his heart having stopped for over a minute.

2 days ago

Upon realisation that the rhythm Eddie could see in the monitors was Bucks heartbeat, he felt relieved and lucky, relieved thst he wouldn't have to go home to Christopher and tell him that his Buck is dead, lucky because he can talk to Buck once he's awake.

Eddie continued to stare into the OR, having been given permission to sit and watch. His chair long forgotten despite the bone-shattering tiredness he felt after completing half an hour of CPR. His hands felt empty without Bucks encompassing them, the warmth exuberating from them.

But they weren't warm, they were ice cold and he didn't have a pulse.

Eddie shook his head, in a desperate attempt to escape the inner voice overpowering his thoughts.

***

They all had to go back to work, per Bobby's orders that they completed at least 5 mandatory counselling sessions. Eddie hated the counselling sessions, he felt invaded whenever Frank would ask him about his thoughts, and Shannon's death despite it being nearly a year since she passed.

Eddie was coping, he was fine, he'd only done the street fighting once, the night where he had to tell Christopher that Buck was in the hospital.

Seeing his son upset made Eddie feel like a failure, like everything his parents said was right. It felt like he was crawling and the only way he could get rid of the feeling was by running. He couldn't do that, not to Christopher the light of his life who'd been through far too much trauma for his 8 years on earth.

He reassured Christopher that he could see Buck in a couple of days, hoping by then that Buck would be awake.

After Bucks accident the 118, Maddie and Athena agreed to alternate sitting by his bedside. It was Eddie's turn tonight as he stood outside of the room, his hand hovering above the door handle, concerned about what he would find on the other side.

Images flashed through his mind, Buck looking pale and gaunt. Eddie shook his head, opening the door to relieve himself of his thoughts.

He was surprised to find Buck looking full of colour, tired but a rosy complexion was dotted across his cheeks. He still wasn't awake but his vitals were stable, Eddie moved to take a seat on Bucks right and held onto his hand, his warm hand that encompassed Eddie's, he placed two fingers against his wrist, holding his breath until he felt

*thump* *thump*

Bucks heartbeat, strong against his fingers, Eddie felt the walls inside of him begin to crumble, his head resting against Bucks side, tears streaming down his face, soaking the smooth bedsheets.

Although Eddie himself was an atheist, his abuela prided herself on her Christianity, attending church every Sunday and religiously praying in the house. He decided that if God was real, he might as well give it a shot. He gently took his other hand, the one that wasn't holding Bucks and pressed them together, closing his eyes

"Dear God, whoever you are and where ever you may be, I hope you can hear my prayer. I ask of you to rest your healing hand upon Evan, replenish his mind and body, I pray that you will bring Evan back to us, to his family, to me. Amen"