The Boy I Knew

Dreams

I woke up from my nap before work. I had to work 5:00 pm to 2:00 am (Close) tonight. I always try to take a nap before I go to work. It takes a lot of energy to deal with drunks all night. Especially tonight, Friday night. It's funny, I like to think I got over PJ after all these years, but I wake up from a reoccurring dream every now and again. Well, there's two that I seem to bounce between. And I have never understood them.

In one of the dreams, I'm back in high school, and I'm walking through the hallway. I see PJ at his locker, so I walk over to talk to him. As I start to speak to him, he looks at me, more like looks through me, like I'm not even there. Like he doesn't even know me. I keep talking, I wave my hand in front of his face, I raise my voice. And then the part that happens every time I have this dream. He looks at me with a confused face and says; "Do I know you?". Ouch. He closes his locker and walks away, his glare not breaking until he fully turns away to walk.

That one sucks, but doesn't hurt as bad as the other one that I have sometimes. The one that I just so happened to have tonight. I'm back from Christmas break. We're both 18 years old at this point in time. I go to PJ's mom and dad's house to see him. This time, I don't even make it to the front door. Instead, I'm greeted by PJ pulling his black 1977 Cutlass Supreme, his sister's old car handed down to him, out of the driveway. I follow him out into the street, yelling at him to stop. He keeps going and now I am running after his car, screaming at the top of my lungs and waving my arms. Eventually he stops in the middle of the street. I walk up to his car and tap on the window for him to roll it down. He just looks at me with this blank stare. He doesn't say a word. His car is packed full of his stuff. I bang on his window even harder and scream some more. He just stares. I start to cry now. He just stares. Every time I have this dream I try everything to get him to say one word, I've even jumped on the hood of his car, and he still never says a word. And now, the worst part of the whole dream. The part that makes me jolt awake and sometimes in tears. He looks at me with sad eyes, shakes his head, and drives away. I usually wake up once he's made it down the road.

Why? Why do I have these dreams, still, after all these years? I'm over him. He's nothing to me. Why does this keep happening? I sit up and wipe little tears from my eyes. I keep my palms pressed against my eyes for a second to gain my composure. I take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and start to get ready for work. I get up and stretch. I grab some jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel and throw them on. I go to the bathroom, put my hair up in a messy bun, and put a little makeup on to make myself look halfway presentable. Nothing will cover up the bags under my eyes. I didn't get very good sleep, plus the crying didn't help either. The stupid crying. Why? I'm fine, really. I get a text from my best friend Brandy.

"Hey girl, you workin tonight?" It's 5:30"

Oh shit! I glance at the time. Yep, I'm late. I throw some Chuck Taylor's on and run out the door. I get in my car and haul ass to work. It's just Brandy and I working tonight. It's usually us working the evenings every day of the week. But we're always together on Friday nights. It's a pretty laid back work environment, my boss is only there at noon. Even then, she still doesn't care that I'm late, if she finds out.

I pull into the parking lot behind Duffington's Tavern. I take a deep breath to gain my composure for the night. It's all in all a fun job, especially since I get to work with my best friend. But Friday nights are always crazy.

Little did I know....This particular Friday night was about to get REALLY crazy....