The Boy I Knew

How Could You Just Leave Me?

"Camille? Are you up there?" I hear PJ call out.

"Yeah. I'm in your room." I call back. PJ emerges from around the corner with a smile.

"Hey. Whatcha doin up here?" He asks as he plops down next to me on the bed.

"Hey" Is all I can get out. My eyes can't move from the floor, and I can't find the words to start what I want to say. He nudges me in the side and I feel him staring at me.

"Camille?" He questions. He knows something is wrong. "You alright?" He asks me as he scoots closer and gets eye level with me.

"PJ can we talk about something? Something that I need an answer to before I can move on with us...." I say, finally looking at him. He nods with a concerned look on his face.

"Okay....Yeah, sure...." He answers, uneasy.

Here we go.

"What even happened to us? Did I say or do something to make you not want to be with me?" I finally get the courage to ask. PJ perks up in confusion.

"What?" He asks. "Wait....You think I didn't want to be with you anymore?" He seems so surprised that I would think such a thing. But honestly, I can't think of any other explanation behind what happened between us.

"Well...."

"Well what?" He interrupts. I can sense some growing frustration in his voice, which only starts to fire me up. I stare into his eyes.

"Well, you kind of dumped me on my ass if you don't remember, PJ." I shoot back at him. He is taken aback by that as he scoots away so he can look at me better.

"Um, wait what??" He scoffs, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes in confusion. I don't know what there is for him to be so confused about.

"You left for California and didn't even tell me, PJ!" I raise my voice in an effort to get my point across. His eyes go wide, then he throws his head back in laughter.

"Wait wait wait! In case YOU don't remember, which clearly, YOU DON'T." PJ shoots up from his seat. "YOU left ME first!!" He yells. Pointing at me, then at himself.

"I left YOU!? You've got to be kidding me PJ!! I left because I got into college in Nashville, that's why I left! To make something of myself! And you knew that!" I stand up and yell back.

"Yeah well YOU knew I was gonna go to California to make something of MYSELF!" He yells, pointing at his chest in anger.

"EVENTUALLY!! I didn't think one day you'd just up and leave without telling me!! And honestly PJ, I wasn't even sure you'd actually go!"

PJ laughs out of annoyance.

"Wow, you didn't think I'd actually go, huh? Well I did, and look at me now sweetheart!" He says, throwing his hands up.

"Well it doesn't help that I thought that you'd actually TELL ME!! You just up and left!! Left me behind like I didn't even FUCKING exist!!" I scream, starting to cry. "When I moved you said you'd talk to me, you said you'd come see me, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING BOTHER!!!! You didn't come see me once,  you didn't try to call me, YOU NEVER EVEN TOOK THE TIME TO WRITE ME ONE FUCKING LETTER!!" I add, now crying hysterically. That's it. That's what I've been bottling up all along, after all these years. PJ stood and listened to me ramble. His jaw muscle tensing up like it does when he's angry. All he's doing is staring at me. I can hear him breathing.