Random Stories

I Hate My Job

               "Be a veterinarian for dragons," they said. "It'll be fun," they said.

                LIES!

               LIES I TELL YOU!

              Dragons are like big, rude, and clumsy dogs with wings that can speak and breathe fire.

              You pull a thorn out of it's foot? It spouts insults and spits flames at you

              Sorry sir, I wasn't helping you or anything.

              You fix a broken wing? They somehow make it worse because they don't want to listen to your instructions.

             "I'm a few centuries older than you human, I know what is and isn't good for me"

             THEN HOW ABOUT YOU FIX IT YOURSELF!!! IF YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT IS AND ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU THEN WHY COME TO ME?!

            AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THEIR OBSESSION ON EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT! Maybe, if you didn't cause a ruckus for no reason and cause one of the villagers to send a knight after you, then you wouldn't have gotten stabbed in the foot, and end up having a speck of blood left on your precious scales that I didn't see to clean up when fixing you up.

            FOR GOD SAKES YOU CAN CLEAN YOURSELF.

            They aren't happy with anything I do, but always come to me to get things done. It defies logic.

           You don't like what I did? Find a different doctor, you overgrown lizard.

           You would think that because they are "all powerful and fierce" dragons they could handle a little water in a wound, but no, these gigantic flaming marshmallows are howling and throwing the biggest fit you can imagine when I'm cleaning it out.

          3 centuries old? More like 3 years old.

          "It hurts." Then don't be stupid and get injired!

          They are even worse when they are sick! They expect me to be at their every beck and call, because obviously I don't have a life of my own. And they milk it to the point that they are milking it so bad it makes them feel worse! And when they sneeze they set everything on fire! And of course it is my job to put it out. They are a bunch of big scaly toddlers!

        The pay isn't even that good either! I don't know why I continue to work for them.

        Not to mention, I have no friends because every other human in existence hates dragons! Which makes them hate me, because I help these overgrown, ungrateful babies. So I have no friends and I take care of all of these rude, flaming amphibian toddlers for what?! A crystal here and there and a place to stay in a damp cave?

       If you ask me, I deserve a raise and a little more respect.