Random Stories

Being the Main Character

           It's not easy being the main character. People attack you. You are forced to go on some crazy adventure, when in reality, all I want to do is sleep. Some prophecy said this. Another prophecy said that. Save the world. Save that guy. Save myself. Like seriously, I'm 16, give me a break.

          But its even worse when you are the main character, with really, really, really dumb friends that you are stuck with on this adventure. Just the other day, my friend and I ended up in this abandoned building, which was apparently owned by the mafia. And because I am the main character, I was doomed, because the mafia didn't like me in the least.

         So I'm trapped in this abandoned building with my friend, Brad, surrounded by mafia members who look like they want to kill us. And I kid you not, this is a conversation Brad and I had in this situation:

        "This isn't good."

        "How can you tell?"
        "See how they are slowly circling us? And they all have guns and knives and I think that one is carrying a machete?"

         "Ohhhhhh riiighhttt. That makes sense."
         "No duh!"

          Like seriously, how dense do you have to be to not realize that that was not a good situation?? THEY HAD WEAPONS!

          Or this other time, we were sitting in my room, figuring out a plan, and he was in deep thought. So I kindly waited for him to finish his thought process, cause hey, it could be exactly what we needed for the plan! But no, he wasn't even thinking about the plan.

         You know what he asked me? He asked, "What's a nice way to tell my boss I want to smack her above the head with a chair?" NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WHAT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THINKING ABOUT!

        He's dumber than a pile of unscented candles.