Winter's sister

Chapter 15

I need change, so I take some bedsheet, blankets and pillows and make a bed on the couch. I put the TV on, with low volume, the background noises helps keep my mind off of things I don't want to think about. But after some time, they always come back at you, still tonight I'm too tired to fight against them. The cooking show start to become blurry, as I drift away into sleep.

Cell.. Agent.. Hydra.. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to go on that mission, but I have to. For Bucky. They take me on a train, I kill some of my opponent and stole something from the enemy. That's always the case, every time there's a mission it's the same story. Fight. Kill. Steal. Again and again against different people. I'm tired of it, but I have to keep going.

Oh no, I stole the wrong thing. They're going to be mad.
I was right they were mad. And my whole body is aching. I had to get water from the toilet when they weren't looking so I can feel a little better. Oh no they caught me. I hadn't noticed the camera. The ache is worse and worse. Caused by various techniques, objects, and for different types of pain. There's on my tongue the metallic taste of blood and it gets worse every time I cough. Someone punch me in the face. Over and over. Feel the bones breaking under their fist. The steady impact on my jawline. I beg them to stop. The energy is leaving my body while the pain is increasing. I then start to silently sob. More and more.

My last action wasn't accurate from that time. I'm sobbing right now, on the floor. I fell off the couch and I'm pretty sure I broke my wrist. Knock knock. Geez. Someone heard me.

–Hey Y/N. It's Steve. Are you alright?

Do I really have to answer? Maybe if I don't make a noise he's not gonna come in? Oh no he's knocking again.

–If you don't answer I'll come in. Are you alright?

If he come in, he's going to find me on the floor, my red face full of tears and with à broken wrist. I waste too much time thinking, because I see his face poking out of the door opening. He first look panicked not seeing me on my bed, then noticed me on the floor, at the other end of the room. He rapidly makes the few steps it takes to get to me and kneel by my side. He quickly make a visual inspection on the situation and then ask me:

– What happened?

–I fell out of the couch while I was sleeping... I think I broke my wrist.

He look me in the eyes, looking for my consent. I just keep looking in his eyes, nodding , while he approaches of me and pick me up. He gets up and go to my bathroom. He gently put me down on the toilet and put my hand under the sink, then turn the water on. My eyes turn blue while the water take my pain away. I wipe the tears out of my face with my free hand and look at Steve. He looks at me with a concerned look on his face.

–Why were you sleeping on the couch?

–I needed some change.. After last night, I wanted to see if it would help. Guess I was wrong.

–Hey. It's ok. Things doesn't always go as planned. But with work we can makes things get better. Why don't we try to get more sleep? There's a couple of hours left before daytime. Come on.

I follow him to my bed. It's a lot comfier than the couch. I lie down next to him, feeling better in his arms. My eyelids are getting heavier seconds after seconds, and I drift away into sleep.