Sambucky - Relax, Relapse

Chapter 7

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut tighter as his consciousness came back before squinting them open. The first thing he realized was pain- his whole body ached, seering. The second thing he noticed- Sam asleep. Sam had rested his head next to Buckys bandaged thigh on the stiff hospital bed, hand held tight in his own metal hand. The super soldier tested the waters- trying to move his metal arm. It surprised him when it was a bit of a struggle, his whole body weak and traumatized. He didnt dare try and speak, his throat was sore and scratchy as if someone had shoved a tube into his lungs They probably did, now that Bucky thought about it.

Then he felt the guilt plow through him with no mercy. Tears filled his eyes, easily falling from his face as his breath turned uneven, short gasps and huffs. The change woke Sam up with a deep gasp, the dry air feeling like fire through every little vein in his lungs.

"Sam...?" He mumbled, coughing as his throat scratched painfully from lack of use. His heart sank, body feeling so, so heavy as he tried to keep his head down, avoiding looking at his best friend.

"Yeah, im here..." Sam sighed, voice soft and quiet. He wanted so badly to ask why, why, he did it. Why Bucky made the choice that his life wasnt important enough to save?

Bucky glanced up- eyes filled with fear as they darted right back down to his bandage covered thighs, thick with absorbent gauze and stained red in areas even after the stitches and serums healing. After what he did- God, how was he so stupid? How could he try and leave Sam like that?

"I-" He stammered. "Im so sorry..." The tears only fell harder, a gut wrenching sob painfully ripping through his body.

"Dont be sorry, im sorry." Sam sighed. "I shouldntve left you alone after Friday." He blamed himself for this whole situation, stomach wrenching in sickness. He felt like he would puke in a way that he knew he wouldnt, but the feeling was no less uncomfortable.

"Wait... what day is today?" He near whimpered. His voice was nothing but a squeak, an airy whisper. How long had he been out?

"Its Monday... Damn it man, you flat lined twice, dont scare me like that again!" His voice rose, teeth gritting as he finally spilled. Bucky flinched, shoulders tensing.

"I-..." He tried, huffing out a painful breath that turned into a breathless sob. He let his head fall back and hit the thin, stiff pillow behind his head as he looked up at the white tiled ceiling.

"I shouldve died along time ago..." He whispered. "You;d be fine without me. Im sorry..."

"Man, dont even dare spewing that bullshit. Do you have any idea how thatd hurt me? AJ and Cass?" He stressed. Buckys eyes widened at the thought of AJ and Cass. They loved him, called him "Uncle Bucky", ran up to him with squeaks and laughs as they tackled him with hugs. His tears fell heavier as he gasped for breath.

"Yeah, think about that. You matter, Bucky." His voice softened, feeling guilty for making Bucky so emotional after just waking up from such a traumatic event. It was traumatic for the both of them, and everyone who cared for Bucky.

"Dont scare me like that again. I thought you were gone the second i found you." Sams voice shook as he remembered, tears springing in his eyes at the vivid visions running through his mind- dialing 911 and yelling into the phone, slapping bucky to try and wake him even though he knew his best friend wouldnt wake up.

"And you stay alive, god damn it. Thats an order." Sam grunted, taking Buckys hand as he wiped his own tears away.