Subtle Endearment

14. Painkiller

Kira

"Are you okay, Kira?" Ian asks. We've been sitting at a table at Lucy's Pasta, a five-star downtown pasta restaurant. Under any other circumstances I would've taken advantage of the situation may be even considering it a date but I still couldn't process the events from just an hour ago. "I don't really think I'm in the mood to eat right now, Ian," I say hesitantly as the waiter comes out placing two plates of creamy pasta in front of us. That's weird, I may be out of it but I don't remember either of us ordering.

"I ordered for the both of us ahead of time. I've been wanting to come here with you," Ian confirms. I wait for the waiter to leave the table before I speak to Ian again. "Ian, there was an accident earlier today. We almost hit someone," I say my hands gripping the edge of the table as I speak. My right hand trembles as I utter the words. "It's just like before," I whisper. "Kira, what are you talking about?" Ian asks placing a hand on top of my trembling one. "My parents died in a car accident. My dad used to always say it's us or them. When the car swerved I thought the man died... but he didn't. So why, why did my parents have to die avoiding someone else on the road?" I bawled.

"When I was seventeen, I left India to come here and I was scared. My parents aren't deceased but the way that we ended things before I left had an effect on me. They don't contact me anymore and haven't returned my calls in years. I know I can't honestly say I know what it's like to lose your parents but the emptiness, I feel and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I didn't know you felt this way," Ian's words fade out as he speaks.

"I'll take you home Kira, I'm sorry for taking you out when you're so obviously distraught," Ian says. "No, it's fine. We can always come back another time, right?" I ask wiping away tears. My mind goes blank as it registers that I'd been crying and not only that but I had just poured my heart out to my boss. "Let me take you home, Kira," Ian says offering his hand. In his eyes I don't see pity and I don't see shame, just sympathy. For once it seems like maybe, just maybe someone might be on my side.

***

The entire ride home, Ian seems especially cautious. It's quite interesting how it seemed like he was driving ten below the speed limit and catching every red light but still managed to make it across town to my apartment in record time. With each second spent with Ian, the pain from before disappeared as if he was a pain killer.

"Wow, I'm glad to see you cleaned up, Kira," Ian jokes as he stands at the entrance of my apartment. "Ha, ha, very funny," I say. "Do you want to come in, or are you going to wait at the door?" I ask. "Since you insist," Ian says taking a seat on the couch beside me. "Do you want to watch a movie or something?" I ask thumbing through the channels. It's okay if I treat him like a friend right? Violet and I watched a movie at her place the day we came back from the business trip, this should be the same.

"I'm not really in the mood for a movie," Ian says. I can see him staring out of the corner of my eye as I scroll through the channels on Netflix. "Is there something on your mind?" I say turning to face him. He quickly turns his attention to the tv as I do so. "What's your relationship with Daniel?" Ian asks suddenly. He's my coworker at FixedTech, what do you mean?" I say skipping past the horror section on Netflix. "No, I mean what does he mean to you." Ian clarifies. "He's my friend. Why do you want to know?"

"He likes you, are you that oblivious?" Ian says annoyed. "I'm not blind, Ian." I tell him. You're one to talk about being oblivious. The words escape my mouth before I can catch them. Daniel had made it obvious that he liked me, it wasn't until Violet's comment during the business trip that I had confirmed this. Regardless, I could not return the feelings he had for me.