Subtle Endearment

30. Truth

Kira

"I'm sorry, sir. We only have one room left. The customer suddenly cancelled; It's a presidential suite. The hotel gets booked pretty quickly around this time of year, I do apologize," the woman behind the hotel check-in desk says to us without an ounce of remorse. "Then we'll look for a-" I begin. "We'll take it," Ian says before I can get the words out. I cross my arms as he goes through with the transaction. When it's finally over we take the elevator to the top floor. "What do you not get about never seeing each other again," I finally say. "It didn't seem like you meant it when you kissed me," he says. He's got a point, I am sending mixed messages.

"I mean it this time. I don't want to keep seeing you," I say. "Right," he says stepping out of the elevator as we arrive to our floor. The room is decorated in red and green Christmas decorations and the kitchen area has the table set with unlit candles. I set my stuff down on the bed and look around the bedroom. There's a couch to the side of the bed and a large tv. The bathroom is to the left of the bedroom and it has a glass shower that is nearly visible from the bedroom.

"I can take the couch," Ian says putting his suitcase beside the couch that's obviously too short for him. "We can sleep in the bed together, it's fine," I say moving my suitcase to the smaller couch on the opposite end. "If you insist," Ian says cocking his head. He looks me up and down and it's not hard to imagine what's on his mind.

"Don't get the wrong idea" I say avoiding his gaze. "If you say so," he says before unzipping his suitcase. "I'm gonna head to the shower first," he insists. "Okay," I say. As the door closes I open my suitcase wider picking through my clothes for something to wear. I hadn't expected to be staying at a hotel overnight so I had left my laundry at my grandparents house. Over half of my clothes are spewed out of my suitcase before I finally realize that I only have a short silky nightgown that is borderline between pajamas and lingerie. It was a gift from the brand I'd modeled for as a reward for my hard work.

If I wear a t-shirt over this it shouldn't be a problem. Who am I kidding, it's definitely a problem. Maybe I can get away with wearing one of my worn set of pajamas. I pick up the pink set of pajamas I'd stuffed on the other side of my suitcase and give it a whiff. Yeah, that definitely won't work. I guess it's my fault for leaving my stuff on the bathroom floor overnight. I have to get more organized. Lingerie and an oversized red t-shirt it is. He won't notice.

I wrap the lingerie up in the t-shirt and put it on the night stand closest to me. I'm scrolling through the channels offered on the tv when Ian finally gets out. A towel sits neatly wrapped around his waist exposing his bare chest. Any looser and I'm sure the towel would fall off. I divert my eyes to my clothes and grab them walking past him to the bathroom. A couple minutes later I return wearing the lingerie under the t-shirt.

I carry my dirty clothes out of the bathroom and tuck them into my suitcase. I see Ian staring from the corner of my eyes and I wonder if somethings wrong. I turn to him as he begins approaching me, a smirk plastered on his face. "Is this some kind of punishment," he asks crossing his arms. "What do you mean?" I ask backing up. Ian approaches me and I feel the flat of the room wall as I've backed up too far. "The lingerie," he says tracing the outline of my bra. "It's not. I just had nothing else to wear so I wore it," I admit. "Sounds like an excuse to me," he says reaching under the baggy shirt and placing his hands on my hips.

"Ian, we really can't" I say. "Why not?" he asks pushing his lips against mine. I give in almost immediately. Ian wraps a hand around my waist and maneuvers his other in my panties. "It seems like you want to though," he proclaims. I can't argue there. I throw my head back as his fingers wander inside me rubbing. "You want me," Ian whispers in my ear. I feel tears build up as the pleasure intensifies with each movement. "More, Ian," I beg. Ian places a hand over my eyes. "Say you want me, Meri Jaan," he cooes. "I want- I want you Ian," I say.

Ian retracts his hand from my eyes and removes his other from my panties. His hands move to my waist holding me up against the wall and I fix my legs around him. He carries me over to the bed and lightly drops me in its center. I take off the oversized shirt exposing the lingerie I so adamantly told myself could pass as pajamas.

"You know you make things difficult for me, Meri Jaan. I had to buy all of the magazines from that agency so no one would see you like this," he whispers. "You bought them all?" I ask. "All of the ones featuring you," he says unsnapping my bra. "Ian, I don't think this is a good idea," I say as he pulls off my bottoms. "Why not?" he asks kissing in between my breasts. "Because you're hiding something from me," I whisper in his ear. Ian stops for a second hesitantly before kissing me. My eyes are wide open as he does. I gently push him away and sit on the edge of the bed my back to him. "We should get some sleep, I said we shouldn't go any further," I whisper.

I pick up the lingerie from the floor and slowly put it back on. "Would you be able to face the truth if you knew it?" Ian's voice echoes as I slide the shirt back on. "No, I wouldn't," I answer truthfully. "That's why I need to get away from you. Ian I love you, but I cannot take this anymore. I need time alone, please. I need to forget about you."

"Kira, you came into my life like the light at the end of a tunnel. When I was down and out you were the person who brought me back. I know you didn't know this but I thought you should know. You are the light of my life."

"Ian," I say trying to compose myself. I move to the side of the bed where Ian is. "Do you know why I hate my mother so much?" I ask.

"Why?"

"She left me there. When I was being assaulted by those men, she left me there because that was what benefited her most. If she showed an ounce of remorse, if she'd just talk to me. Say something about it, she wouldn't be haunting my mind the way she is now. She left me because it was what was in the best interest for her. I didn't know it then but if they knew I was her daughter they probably would've killed me when they were done with me. But I still don't understand why she never brought it up again. She acted as if it never even happened," I cry, tears fill my eyes as I punch my heavy heart.

"Kira, I'm sorry. I didn't know," Ian says clearly at a loss for words.

"How could you, I never told you," I say. His arms wrap themselves around me and I can't help but cry more. "You've suffered all this time, let me comfort you," Ian says moving a single braid away from my face. "I know how it feels to be left alone and confused. I don't want you feeling that way too."