Subtle Endearment

18. I'm Selfish

Ian

"Is she going to be okay," I ask as two surgeons roll Kira into the surgical room. "She'll be fine, we have some of the best surgeons helping her sir," the nurse assures me. "Can I ask how this happened," she asks tapping a clipboard. "Someone wants me dead," the words ring in my head. She was terrified and all I could do was stand by. Even now I can't help her. "She was mugged by someone with a knife," I inform the woman. "Okay, thank you sir," she says jotting something down and walking away.

One hour turns into two and two hours turn into three. "I can't stand this," I say to myself. I've been walking in circles for hours now. I pull out my phone and retreat to the waiting area again. "Hey Landon, I need a favor," I tell Landon over the phone. "No hey? How are you? Straight to the point I see, what is it?" he asks. "It's Kira," my voice cracks at her name. I did this. Do I even have a right to cry anymore? "Hey, what happened? Did she break up with you?" Landon asks carefully choosing his words. "She's in the hospital getting surgery. Madam Melanie got to her," I manage to say amidst my tears.

"I'll see what I can do but you know it'll be bad if we get caught," he lets me know. "I know," I respond. "I think I know who did it. There was a unit deployed here a couple weeks ago. She must've known for a while," he explains. "But just know, they were doing their job. Maybe it's better that you take a step back for now. It'll only get worse if you stay with her," Landon suggests. "No, I won't let her go," I say hoarsely. The sound of silence fills the space and I know what he wants to say but doesn't. I know that I'm selfish. "I'm gonna get going now, I have orders from Madam Melanie. She also told me to make sure you attend the meeting this Friday," Landon states. "Okay," I respond.

"You're wife's surgery was successful. She's being moved to the recovery room right now. "Okay, can I go see her," I ask. "Yes, I'll take you there now," she offers. I follow her to a small room on the opposite side of the hospital. Kira stares back at me in the hospital bed a look of sorrow overtakes her face. She wears a hospital gown and an aura of despair lies around her. "We'll be back in a couple minutes to keep check on you," the nurse says before closing the door behind as she leaves.

"Kira are you okay," I ask as I approach her bed. Her right arms wrapped in a bandage and lies on a blanket limp. "I want to go home, I'm tired," she says averting her eyes. "You'll be out soon, the nurse just wants to keep you overnight to make sure everything is alright," I explain. "I don't want to be here," Kira admits. "People die here, I don't want to be here," she says. "People get better here too," I explain. "Yeah," she says turning away on the bed. "Did your parents pass in the hospital?" I ask trying to make sense of the situation. "Yeah, my dad died in the hospital... my mom died during the ambulance ride to the hospital," she explains. "I don't want to talk about it, I just want to go home," she says wiping away tears.

I get in the small hospital bed with her and wrap my arms around her in an attempt to comfort her in this place she so obviously hates. "Does your arm still hurt," I ask as she turns to face me. "No, I don't know what they gave me but it took away the pain, for now at least," she says. "I'm sorry, Kira. It's my fault" I say as tears escape my eyes. "No it's not," Kira says letting her wrapped hand relax across my body as she moves closer to lay her head on my chest. "I'm sorry, Meri Jaan," I respond I say ruffling her hair. "Kira, what would you say if I told you we could run away right now and never turn back" I ask staring out into space. "Oh, you're sleeping," I say after she fails to respond. "You should get some sleep," I say rubbing her back.

***

The ride back to Kira's apartment is especially quiet. I try to make small talk to no avail as she responds with one worded answers. Something seems to be in her mind.

"If there's anything you need don't hesitate to call me," I say as I hand her a cup of tea as she sits up in her bed. She takes the tea and pulses it in the night stand next to her lost in thought. "Ian, I have a question," She asks suddenly. I find a place beside her on the queen size bed and she resumes.

"What are the Stubborn Elites, Ian?" Kira suddenly asks causing an uncomfortable silence. "Where did you hear about the Stubborn Elites,Kira?" I ask trying to sound as calm as possible. "The guy who did this to me, he said to stay away from the Stubborn Elites. I don't even know who that is," she says shaking her head in distress. "They're the mafia that reigns over this area of New York. They don't usually make themselves known to the public," I answer. "Ian, does FixedTech have anything to do with the mafia? I can't think of any other connection I might have to the Stubborn Elites since I just arrived here," she says gripping the comforter.

"They must've had the wrong person, I don't think you need to-" I begin only to be cut off. "Who's Madam Melanie," she asks suddenly gazing at me with doubt. "I have to get back to working, there's a meeting coming up. You should get some sleep," I say avoiding eye contact. I can't lie to her anymore. She already knows and even if she didn't it's clear as day now.

"You don't have to worry about her, I'll handle it," I assure her before leaving her in the room.