Crossing the Line

Chapter 5

September 12th

He kept his distance, he was unsure if it was a conscious or an unconscious decision. He stopped calling on her in class and stopped letting her answer the questions. He often took his meals in his private quarters unless Dumbeldore made him attend the Great Hall to ensure he was eating. Luckily he never saw her in the hall nor was there ever a reason for them to speak to one another after class. He barely saw her. Maybe two hours a week. And yet he still found himself thinking about her.

It could have been for the simple reason that he didn't see her as a student. This summer taught him to see her as a colleague. A partner of sorts. An equal. And having to regress her down as a subject and inferior to him was more challenging than he anticipated. Keeping a distance from others was a forte of his. And he assumed that she would be no different from the rest. Even after working together. Especially after this summer. He was a very adaptable man and was very familiar with the concept of change. Even if he was uncomfortable he gave off a level of confidence and comfortability that was needed to accomplish his goals. No one was ever the wiser. And yet she had a way of seeing behind the mask. She knew that some of it was just an act.

Her. A mere student. A 17 year nuisance who was a pain in his ass for the last 6 years. She was nothing. She meant nothing to him. She was just another face in the sea of students he saw everyday.

But he couldn't deny that she was different.

Her presence was everywhere. In the halls, the classroom, in his head. He couldn't escape her. His eyes followed her a little longer than any other individual. On some days he didn't know if he wanted to avoid her or not. She was generously kind. Especially towards him. A rare feat. A gentle smile and wide brown eyes that glowed with ambers. Her presence was soothing for the most part. But some days it burned him with how warm and bright she shone. But he didn't mind at all. It was nice to feel the heat after his veins were filled with ice for so long. He hadn't felt this way since before the Dark lord resurrected. The only time in his life when, well, he wasn't happy persay but he was at peace with himself and content with his life. She reminded him of simpler times in his life. A time and place he longed to return to. The man he was before he was a spy or a death eater. When he was just Severus.

A thought he tried not to dwell on it. If he did he would realize how much that scared him. His life was complicated enough without thinking about his growing affection and newfound respect for the women.

He tried to keep to his work. There was no shortage in his books. Whether that be his duties as a spy or potion's master. Then on top of that he kept searching for a way to defeat the Dark Lord. And all he found was nothing. Nothing he came across was promising. All of the order was frustrated, struggling with waiting and wanting this war to end. But he was desperate for a solution. Hence why he allowed Miss Granger to assist him this summer with Dumbledore's persuasion of course. Unlike the rest of the order, he was the one expected to come at the man's beck and call. He was the one that had to kneel and bow at the man's feet. Feel his wrath through excruciating pain. Have his mind pulled apart at the seams to be invaded. Stand back and watch as the other death eaters tortured and kill innocent lives. Listen to screams that will forever haunt him. An endless loop in his dreams that have begun to spread to his wakened state. All for information though useful feels as though it isn't making much of a difference as of late. Not with the number of new deaths in the prophet.

He was looking for a book in the restricted section when he came across her. Thankfully she wasn't wearing the uniform though not mandatory was often worn by the majority of the students. Most senior students forgo the uniform once they came of age, momentarily reminding him of hers. 17 almost 18 by his estimate. She was always mature for her age, outranking all of her classmates and possibly even some of the staff members; excluding himself of course. But now she was wise beyond her years. He wondered if some areas of her knowledge were greater than his even though he was 20 years older than her. He was, like the rest of the staff, curious what her plans were for when she graduated. Ever since her first year there was always talk of where she will end up. Ministry, apprenticeship, university or even become a professor at Hogwarts.