Jin Ling - This is my story!

Zewu-Jun and Yuan

Inside Sizhui's room I asked him "Why did you tell Zewu-jun all of a sudden?"

"Did you dislike what I did?"

"No, its not like that. Its only I was not expecting that".

He took a deep breath and rested his head on my shoulder.

I wanted to tell him. He deserved to know. Now, many know that I am Wen. But, years back when Hanguang-Jun bought me to Cloud Recess, I was unconsious and down with fever. I was very critical and doctor asked someone to always be there till I recover. It was Zewu-jun who took care of me like I am his own son. After three days, When I woke up, the first face that I saw was of Zewu-jun."

He wasn't crying but the melancholy in his voice was enough to let me know how he is feeling inside.

"Initially I remember I had sleepless night. Zewu-jun used to tell me stories until I am asleep. As I started developing interest in stories, he taught me to read and write. If Hanguang-jun dumped me between rabbits then Zewu-jun took me to Gusu library. He introduced me to a world outside Gusu. Sometimes, I used accompany him in his short trips. He always encouraged me to try new things. He gave me wings to fly."

He lifted his face and looked in my eyes "Do you remember I was there on your birthday at Lanlingjin. We both were small back then. My eyes sparkled looking at everything glitter. It was so extravagant and different from Gusu".

He stood up. "Wait I am coming".

I thought inwardly "Yes I met an angel that day dressed in white who played with Fairy. But before I could ask his name, I saw him leaving with Zewu-jun. Was he Sizhui?"

He came back with rolled canvas papers and sat beside me.

"While on our way back I was ecstatic reminiscing our time spent at Lanlingjin that I kept describing everything repeatedly. That day I mentioned Zewu-jun that I dont remember anything about my childhood but I want this trip to be forever etched in my memory. He then taught me painting so that I can capture moments forever in my memory."

He opened one of the canvas. It had drawing of Fairy under a peony tree.

"This was my first drawing. It is not that good. I was a newbie then".

Jin Ling - "This is how you sketched as a newbie. I think then I am still a newbie." We both laughed at that.

"I have seen the rabbits that you painted with Jingyi. It was very beautiful".

I ignored that as I knew the truth.

All his paintings were beautiful. I picked another lot which he took from my hand. "Not now. We will see them in the end."

His paintings were more than being artistically beautiful. It was memories which made him smile, cry, laugh and lot more. There were so many sweet memories like Zewu-jun reading in library, Jingyi's disappointed face when Lan Qiren was inscribing new rules on wall of discipline, Hanguang-Jun with rabbits and so on.

"I want to see what is there in the lot that you are hiding".

I was stunned when he unrolled the last lot. It had more than fifty paintings of me.

He took one of the paintings in his hand. "After so many years I saw you at Dafan mountain. That night I painted this in my room. I wasn't able to sketch you back then but now I am able to do it much better. However, how hard I try, any painting can never justify your true beauty"

I blushed thinking does he really feel that I am so beautiful.

He opened another drawing from roll "This is the first time I must have sketched myself. I wanted to capture the memory of our first kiss. For those three months until you came to Gusu for training I missed you each and every day. In your memory I sketched you every day ".

I was at loss of words. I was here to be his support. But his confession astounded me to an extent that I felt like going back to all those time and reciprocating with the love he deserved.

"Let's get married"

He laughed at that. "Why this suddenly? We will surely get married one day with everyone's blessings".

"I am sorry for being stupid, for not realizing the depth of your love. I don't want to loose you".

He cupped my cheeks. "I am not going anywhere. It's only you. After death of Lianfang-Zun, Lanlingjin is in a very bad shape. Each and every sect had an eye on it. It was safe only because of support from Yunmeng and Gusu sect. You have responsibilities towards both Lanlingjin and Yunmeng. I know it's your dream to be an efficient sect leader. I want people to respect and love you for your ability. I don't want them to judge you for loving me, for being a cut sleeve".

I kissed his lips and mumbled "I don't know whether I deserve to have you. I don't know when I fell in love with you. But, I know each and every day I fall in love with you more. Thanks for loving me".

Later that day we continued seeing all his paintings and reminiscing his memories with Zewu-jun. He told me small stories of how Zewu-jun and he had tried cooking once together in Gusu kitchen, how he got outside food and candies for him whenever he went out on trips or how he bargained with Hanguang-Jun to reduce the severity of punishment when he received.

We both lost our closed one's at a tender age
We both were still fortunate to be pampered and loved
I lived a life cribbing for a life I could have lived
He lived a life enjoying a life that he was blessed with
I dwelled hatred against Wens for killing my parents
He loved me inspite of losing his closed ones because of Lanlingjin
That day he taught me to embrace life the way it is