Jin Ling - This is my story!

Miss You

Days passed. Uncle Jiang's absence was always felt. We got busy in our daily lives. Hanguang-Jun and uncle Wei made frequent visits. Wei uncle always eyed the Zidian in my hand. I had made him recognizable to it so that he can touch it whenever he wished. But he never dared to touch not even before closing his eyes.

Hanguang-Jun and Wei Wuxian left the mortal realm together. When Yuan got to know about it he immediately sent message to Zewu-jun. No one knew where he was. While leaving he asked Hanguang-Jun and Sizhui not to follow or approach him. Initially there were several rumours like they have seen him meditating near Baxie temple, he is seen with Song Lan doing night hunting, some claimed like Bao Sanreen he is also training new disciples in seclusion; While few claimed they have heard him playing Leibing calming spirit of his sworn brothers inside the coffin. However, with time people forgot about him so did the gossips reduced.

Later in night Wen Ning came to our room to say final goodbye. "Gusu is not my home and after master Wei Wuxian's death I dont belong here anymore. If you are ever in trouble just send signals in sky, I will come to help you all". I tried to assure him that he can stay here or he can come with us to Lanlingjin but he had made his decision and so even he went leaving us behind. Yuan was mum and not speaking anything. Unlike me where I cried my heart out in his arms when uncle Jiang died, he wasn't expressing anything. His silence was concerning.

The next day, Yuan was not present in his room. After not seeing him around for long time I checked with Jingyi for his whereabouts. We both started searching him but we couldn't find any trace of him in Gusu. I told him I am going to Lanlingjin. Incase he is here then inform me. He wanted to accompany me but I asked him to stay at Gusu and search for Lan Sizhui here. On reaching Lanlingjin, I barged into Wuxins room and checked whether Lan Sizhui came there. He set his disciples to enquire whether they have seen Lan Sizhui anywhere. I felt devastated as if my life is not in my hands. Seeing me in pain, Wuxin dint leave me alone and tried his best to calm me down. Nei Yanyi left for Yunmeng to search Sizhui. I roamed like crazy asking each and every passer-by whether they have any clue about him.

As time passed I was getting more and more worried. Lan Sizhui has never been irresponsible. I was scared for his safety. The day is about to end and sun was on its way to set. I asked Wu Xin did he hear anything from Jingyi, Nei Yanyi or any other disciples. Disheartened with his reply I was devastated. I sat on ground and yelled his name aloud "Yuan....Sizhui". I was no longer bothered being sect leader. I was no longer bothered of my reputation. I just wanted to see my A Yuan. I removed my pouch and emptied all contents from it. Seeing me Wu Xin also kneeled down and pulled me into a tight hug. I was crying my heart out. Between my sobs, I picked up one by one scattered contents from the floor. "You know this jade pin Yuan wore on his wedding. This cup it was first time when he served tea to Jiang uncle. He was so nervous that his hands shivered while serving. I had assured him I will never abandon him even if uncle rejects him. But he was stubborn for his approval. How could anyone reject him, my Yuan is so sweet. This flower he wore during Hanguang-Jun and Wei uncle's wedding. When we parted for three months, I missed him each and every day. I should have told him what my heart felt for him. He felt I disliked him it must have pained so much to him. I had his headband when he was possessed during night hunt. It was my childishness which endangered his life". I grabbed Wu Xin's collar. "What did I do this time? He never left me whatever be the circumstances. Will he be fine. What if anything happens to him". I yelled, I cried in between. "This handkerchief gave me courage when I was inside Guanqin temple. Why is it not soothing my pain now". Wuxin stroked my back consistently. Every passerby was staring us. "Get up, you cannot be like this. We need to get going to find Sizhui".Suddenly, Pretty came towards me and dragged me in a certain direction. I picked up all the articles lying on floor and kept it back inside my pouch. It was Yiling, he has come to Yiling. Why Yiling? We went inside and we saw him asleep near blood pool inside demon slaughtering cave. Seeing him there asleep I heaved a sigh of relief.

I turned to Wuxin asked him to inform Jingyi that we have found Lan Sizhui and he is safe. "It is late night. Please stay with Nei Yanyi in Lotus Pier for tonight"

I was angry at him for leaving without saying. I wanted to yell at him but looking him asleep, all my anger calmed down. I sat beside A Yuan and started caressing his hair. Looking at him I realised how my life revolved around him. What will I do without him.

After some time, Sizhui opened his eyes. "When did you come here?"

Jin Ling – "It has been a while. Are you Okay? Do you want to stay or should we go home?"

Sizhui – "I dint remember when I fell asleep. I am sorry. I was not planning to stay so long" He placed his head on my chest. "Yesterday, I wasn't able to sleep. I went to Jingshi but I couldn't step inside. I don't remember much about my childhood. But, this is where I had spent my childhood with my family. I don't know why but I was just missing them. "Tears rolled down his cheeks. "I was just missing everyone Hanguang-Jun, Senior Wei, Wen Ning and Zewu-jun. I know you hold different memories with this place. I dint want to bother you".

Different memories with this place. Yes, this is where my mother died. This is where everything began. Do I hold any grudges? Does this bother me anymore? No, I do miss them but I hardly remember my time with them. I missed the life that I could have lived with them being around. This place doesn't bother me anymore nor does anything related to the past. This place reminds me how Hanguang-Hun and Wei uncle risked their lives protecting all of us. It reminds how we fought bravely against evil and killed corpses. When I looked around I realised the place is so much the same. Hanguang-Jun wanted to redevelop Yiling but all sects opposed him. Nobody was interested as according to them the place is still haunted and has lot of resentful energy. Wei Wuxian asked him to back out as it is only him and Wen Ning who visited this place.

Stroking Yuan's back I said, "Please don't do this again. Never leave me. I don't have anyone except you as my family."

Lan Sizhui placed a kiss on my chest. "Me too"

That night we slept there. I was not scared of any corpses here. I was no more scared of resentful energy emitting from dead pool. With A Yuan in my arms I felt at peace. Closing my eyes I wished when I have to leave this mortal realm, let A Yuan follow me soon. Even if were not together all the time, I still don't want to imagine to be part of any world where he is not with me.

We were not like them. Still I always yearned for him. After our marriage I was busy handling Lanlingjin affairs and he was helping Jingyi in Gusu. If not Jingyi he looked after Yunmeng when Wu Xin and I were in Lanlingjin. He always supported me but there were so many days and nights when we weren't together and preferred to be there for our people fulfilling our responsibilities. But, I always knew where he is and he always knew where I am. It was an unsaid responsibility that we fulfilled.