(hi tysm for readin', vote if u would so like to)
Six: I wouldn't have to see my uncle again.
Seven: I would sleep without the nightmares.
Eight: Maybe being dead will make me miss living.
All valid. Mostly. But I'll explain:
I stopped sleeping when I was fourteen, you see.
Not by intention. But when my father had left, my uncle moved in, and my mother's ghost lingering by my side, my mind had more than enough questions and less than satisfactory answers to entertain me with.
The first nightmare was blurry, and managed to wake me up for a few hours before I found sleep again. Then the second came, and then the third. By the time a month went by, I'd settled into a new schedule of five hours and a dark terror. Sleep and I no longer got along. If anything, it became my active enemy.
So after a while, I figured it was easier not to sleep at all, and assure myself the nightmares wouldn't find me if I was awake. However, the only flaw with that logic was that my terrors and my sleep were not always mutually exclusive.
Some of my nightmares were not made to be woken from, as much as they were to be lived.
I threw my cigarette onto the icy concrete of the rooftop, blowing smoke into the starkly blue air. 4:52 AM. I didn't always wake up at the ungodly hour, but it was frequent enough to become a weekly habit.
The morning chill was enough to numb my fingers red and ghostly dry. The only warmth I could sense was my own heartbeat against my chest and open palms.
I idly wondered if Haruki was awake. If he was up, no he wasn't.
Cherry smoke escaped my mouth, cold from the black pod between my hands. I watched my lungs fade into it.
With it, I took the risk, grabbing my phone. If four AM was made for anything, after all, it was unlikely chances.
4:55 AM - Cherub/Angel Young
u awake
Regret fell on numb hands as I hit the 'Send' button. Haru spoke in lectures. One more wouldn't do anything other than make his cheeks puff out like a frustrated hamster.
I was ready to toss my phone aside in the cloud of vapor before it buzzed obnoxiously with an alert.
4:57 AM - The Cheesecake Man/Haruki Nakamura
Go to sleep
I raised a brow.
4:57 AM - Cherub/Angel Young
hypocrite
why u up??
I waited.
4:58 AM - The Cheesecake Man/Haruki Nakamura
Why are you?
Go to sleep.
4:59 AM - Cherub/Angel Young
nah, too awake
why r u up tho
5:00 AM - The Cheesecake Man/Haruki Nakamura
Project. Go to sleep.
5:01-5:07 AM - Cherub/Angel Young
damn u achiever. all for a project? go to bed dude
jk what's it for
hello
that's cold haru
hey btw u ever been to cloud ave
cause if not, prepare urself
haru
haruu
i'll remember this don't think i won't
alr alr i see how it is
i'll txt u when i'm otw
k?
oh yeah i'll def remember this
good luck on ur project but don't worry abt it too much
u should get more bad grades. more variety yk?
YOU ARE READING
Suicide Buddies
Teen Fiction"My mother once told me there are three, and only three, truly defining moments in your life. One: When you don't know. Two: When you realize you don't know. Three: When you know. This is about the third one." --- Angel Young is going to die. Or at...
