The Man You Are (BTS Jungkook)

35: Anger Driven

JUNGKOOKS POV

What the fuck is happening right now. Did she really have to say that about the kiss? I want, with everything in me, to bust out of this closet I was forced into and tell him everything just so he leaves her alone. I have to keep reminding myself that that would be a very bad idea. Especially since I know Jimin has feelings for her too.

How do I know? How could I not? Jimin is someone who is very bad at hiding their feelings, to say the least. Yes he's a cuddly person, but not like he is with her. I have never seen him attach to someone so quickly before, besides girls he ends up being head over heels for. I've witnessed it first hand.

Cleo is just clueless and thinks he acts like this with everyone. Fuck. I can't help but to think, will there ever be a time that I can claim her as mine? When can I let the world know? I've never wanted to show off someone more in my entire life but doing that could ruin close relationships, destroy our careers and social lives. I have to keep thinking about what I would be sacrificing by exposing our relationship in this moment.

CLEOS POV

Jimin and I are now joking around lightheartedly. It feels good to be with my best friend again but all I'm thinking about is the ticking time bomb in my closet. I aggressively pick at the skin around my nails, waiting for Jimin to make his way out before Jungkook explodes out of those small doors.

The conversation soon dies down and I find a silent moment to but in. "I hate to do this but my head is absolutely pounding." I start and rub my temple. At this point, I am not telling a lie. The stress levels in my body sky rocketed as soon as I heard the initial knock and I've now grown a slight migraine.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot how late it was." Jimin stands up and his checks flush red. "Did you want to grab lunch or something tomorrow?" He asks not making eye contact with me.

"Yeah of course, just text me when." I smile nervously. I'm not even fully aware of what I'm agreeing to, I just want him to leave before he gets put in the middle of Jungkook and I. Jimin gives me a small smile before nodding and heading out. The second the door shuts behind him, Jungkook swings the closet open. His chest is already rising up and down.

"A date? You're going on a date with Jimin tomorrow?" Jungkook points to where his friend was just standing. His voice is loud.

"No, no... it's not a date we're just getting lunch..." I trail off, realizing what it sounds like.

"In public, just the two of you. That's basically telling the world to assume the worst." Jungkook throws his head back in annoyance.

"Its ok. I'll just tell him I can't go. It's really no big deal." I sit on the bed trying not to let my headache get any worse.

"Cleo. How is him asking you out on a date not a big deal?" He looks at me with wide eyes.

"Because I don't have feelings for him." I try and keep my breathing steady. "Besides, I could literally never be seen one on one with any of you without the world freaking out. I would never do that." I scoff snd look down before realizing what I just concluded.

"We're never really going to be able to be together are we?" He speaks what I've been thinking for weeks.

"Not in the way we want to be, no." I keep my voice quite. I'm not sure I was ready to confront this yet.

"Then what's the point?" He asks angrily. My head shoots up.

"What?"

"What's the point of doing what we're doing now if we can never advance? I'll never be able to take you out, show you off or ever be with you alone outside of hotel walls. That's fucking torture." He takes a few steps back. His breathing is harsh and his eyes have that same look as when I first met him. I feel myself retreating back into my shell at the sight of him like this.

"What... what are you saying?" My words barely come out. I don't even know what to say.

"I'm saying we might as well kill this while it's new, before we dig ourselves too deep." He speaks almost heartlessly. Where did my Jungkook go? He can't be serious. Less than an hour ago he was telling me that he was infatuated with me and now he saying this?

"You don't think that we can make this work?" My voice sounds desperate as it breaks, trying to get my words out.

"Cleo," he scoffs, "how could this ever work out? It's putting both of us in danger." He says sternly. Tears begin to weld up in my eyes, his remain nearly emotionless.

"I don't know, I just thought.." a couple tears escape. I remain speechless and confused.

"You thought what? That we could be boyfriend and girlfriend and live happily ever after?" He scoffs again and my skin begins to burn with anger. How can he say these things to me after everything we've been through. "I used to think that too but then-"

"Leave." I cut him off staring at the carpet.

"Wait, what?"

"Leave before you say something you'll regret. Now." I know he's right but I can tell he's speaking out of anger right now. We both need time to think all of this through.

Without a word he turns on his heels and heads for the door. I keep my eyes on the floor and flinch at the slam of the door on his way out. I burst into tears as our reality begins to set in. I know that this decision is for the better but did it have to come about like this? Knowing that it was out of anger and jealousy makes it even worse.

If I were selfish, I would want to stay with him, hidden away like this. Spending our only alone time together in hotel rooms because that's all we have and have had up until this point. I wish there could be more though. I wish we could go out in public together and maybe even be holding hands. I wish I could snuggle up next to him on the couch in front of the boys. And I wish that I could show him how deserving of love he is but due to the nature of our situation, all of these things are impossible. Knowing this, I cherished the secretive relationship we had going. At least we had something. But I know that it put him in a very uncomfortable position with his friends and his career and no matter how badly I want to just pick him up and keep him in my pocket forever, there's no way I could stand in the way of those things.

I work on composing myself so that I can try and get a good nights sleep. The tears lasted longer than I anticipated, but I finally fell asleep with salted cheeks and puffy eyes.

My alarm blares as the morning sun seeps through the large windows. My eyes only open half way as I swing my arm out of the blankets and onto the snooze button. I feel like a pile of rocks was placed on my body during the night, I don't want to move at all. The only motivation to get out of bed is our early flight. Even though the thought of being stranded in Paris by myself sounds more than appealing, I would rather not lose my job. Besides that, Jungkook and I need to have a conversation...when we're not so heated up.

I roll out of bed and begin mindlessly shoving things into my suitcase, barely awake. I don't even know where we're going next and I honestly don't care, I haven't looked at the tour schedule in ages. I just get on a plane and let it take me wherever it needs to be. The closer I get to walking out the door, the more my heart starts to pick up. Why am I nervous to see him? I feel exactly like I did when we were first getting close and I'm truly afraid it will fall back to that. I wish to do everything in my power to avoid that. We can't lose the progress we've made as companions.

I attempt to make myself s as presentable as possible before heading out. Mr. Woo let me know that a car was waiting for me out front. I wonder who will be in it...

"Someone had a long night, huh? What were you doing in there without us?" Jin laughs as I step into the large vehicle. I give him a small, lighthearted glare and his chuckles come to a halt. I plop myself down into one of the two middle seats and don't bother turning my head back to see who's in the back, I can already hear his music blaring too loudly through his headphones.

"Where are we headed to next again? I lost track of stops." I squint my eyes and look in Jin's direction.

"Huh? You don't know?" He seems oddly surprised.

"No.... what?"

"Cleo, we're going back to Seoul. It's our last 2 shows for a bit." My eyes widen and I stare up at him.

"Wha- what? We're going back home already? Like right now?" My heart picks up again in the best way possible. "Wait a second...." the excitement of going home dissipates as quickly as it came. "Doesn't that mean I won't be with you guys anymore?"