The Man You Are (BTS Jungkook)

41: Forgiveness?

"See Cleo, who gives a fuck?" Jungkook says smugly turning around. My head is now in my hands as I focus on my breathing.

"Jungkook, I need you to take me outside. Right now." I say with all of the seriousness in me.

"Fuck." He breaths as he sees my state. He grabs my hands and begins dragging me through the crowd without a word. I stumble over my feet a few times but he manages to stabilize me. The groups of people I pass by all morph into one glob of colors and the music is starting to sound like the taste of lemons. I'm sure this would have been more than enjoyable if the events of tonight were different. But right now, I'm in hell. The only thing that feels good is how tightly Jungkook is holding my hand.

As he pushes the big glass doors open, the blow of cool air on my body is almost orgasmic. He continues pulling me into the hallway bathroom and locks the door behind us. He grabs a water bottle off of the counter and hands it to me. I Immediately begin chugging. Why does it feel like my eyes are closed? I open my eyes extra wide to make sure they are, in fact, open.

"What did you take?" He says sternly.

"N-nothing. I just drank too much." I say as steadily as I possibly can. I don't want him to be more mad at me. I have a strong gut feeling that he will yell at me again, so I lie.

"Cleo, your pupils are fucking huge. Besides, I know there were pills being passed around so what was it?" He grows more irritated. My anxiety from inside the club starts to creep back up at his reaction. Am I that fucked up? It's probably really annoying, right?

"It was molly." I mutter and he takes the empty water bottle from me. As his fingers brush over the back of my hand, I feel the contact shoot all over my body. Is that why people take molly at parties? All of that physical contact must feel euphoric. I suddenly crave more and wish he would grab me again.

"And you were drinking?" He sounds like he's judging me and I become more and more self conscious. I just nod. "Fuck." He mutters again and puts his hands behind his head. Why is he stressing out? I'll be fine.

"Sorry..." I say feeling ashamed. Then I remember why I'm in this situation in the first place. "Wait a second, no I'm not." I quickly correct myself. "You just had another girl on top of you for the whole damn world to see. So I had some fun of my own too. Shit, I even took fucking molly." I laugh at the thought, "but this shouldn't concern you at all. We're not even together, Jungkook. We never were. You don't have to worry yourself with me anymore, I'll be fine. You can go back in there." I spit out all at once. He scoffs.

"You really think that was convincing?" He starts. And my previous confidence drops. "I saw the way you looked at me, Cleo. You were furious." My anger returns as he speaks.

"Fucking obviously! I will literally never not have feelings for you, so obviously seeing you like this is gonna piss me off. But I'll get over it, so will you."   My heart is pounding at my confession.

"I didn't kiss her. She came onto me." He says suddenly. I shake my head.

"Yeah, right. That was Jinjoo. I know your past with her."

"Cleo," he takes my face in his hands and my eyes go wide. "I swear with everything inside of me, she came onto me. She kissed me, yes. But it was revolting. All I can fucking think of is you, all the time. No matter how hard I try, you're there. No one will ever compare to the way you make me feel and it drives me insane. I crave you like a fucking drug and when you're not around I close my eyes and pretend you are. I want nothing to do with other girls, much less Jinjoo and I need you to understand that." He's almost yelling, his eyebrows furrowed as he speaks sternly to me. He lets go of my face as tears begin welding up in my eyes. "But I can't stop thinking about you and Jimin." He finishes.