The Man You Are (BTS Jungkook)

39: Adrenaline

"Where are the restrooms at?" I ask him and he points to the corner by the VIP lounges. I thank him and tell him that I'll be right back. I push my way through the crowd of swaying bodies and scan every face just in case it's him. Where could he be? I try to stay focused and make my way to the bathrooms. While I'm on the toilet, I realize just how drunk I am, now that the music is muffled and I'm sitting still. I have a quick conversation with one of the girls waiting in line before returning to the outside. While passing the VIP lounge, I become curious as to what it looks like in there. I stand by the stairs and peek up. The security guard takes a step towards me and I begin to step back.

"Cleo, right?" The large man yells. I nod, slightly concerned. He then motions for me to go up the stairs. I stare back at him, clearly confused. "They made sure you were on the list." He motions again for me to go up so without hesitation I head up the small flight of stairs. Becoming increasingly more nervous that he will be up here, I begin to regret snooping around. I start wandering around the luxurious platform until I feel a hand on my back.

"Yoongi!" I say with utter relief to see a familiar face.  He chuckles at my expression.

"You look a little low, let's get you another one." He says motioning to my drink and I happily follow him to the private bar. There are a surprising amount of people up here. We place ourselves onto the barstools and I find myself mindlessly glancing around again, just in case. On the couch closest to us, a girl has mounted herself onto some guy and is practically fucking him through their clothes. What are these people on to be acting like this? I've been to clubs before but never one like this. That's when I see the familiar hand tattoos. I stare, refusing to believe it but as soon as she shifts her body to the side, Jungkooks entire face is exposed. His eyes are closed as they kiss. I can hear my heartbeat over the music and my hands begin to tremble. "Hey Cleo... oh fuck." I barely feel Yoongi touch my shoulder. I rip my eyes from the scene in front of me and grab my drink from the bar. By the time I look back, they're no longer kissing. I can barely read his face before he meets my eyes. Whatever expression he was holding before quickly drops. Instead of crumbling under his gaze, I maintain eye contact the entire time while downing my drink in one go. He just sits there and stares while the girl tries to regain his attention. I slam the empty glass back on the counter before standing up and turning to Yoongi.

"Thank you for the drink, but I'm gonna head back out. I'm sure you can guess why." I say finally confronting Yoongi about knowing our little secret. He begins to say something but quickly decided not to and nods me off. I shove through the crowd carelessly trying to get to the exit. I need to leave before I do something I'll regret.

"Cleo!" I hear a voice holler then a hand grabs my arm, pulling me from my scattered thoughts. I whip my head around and pull my arm from the grip of whoever felt like they could touch me like that. "I'm sorry, I just didn't think you'd be able to hear me." Hongjoong apologizes seeing my reaction.

"I-it's okay." Is all I muster out. His hair looks different from when I last saw him but he is just as handsome. My mind is still on getting out of here but Hongjoong seems like he wants to talk. "Is everything alright?" He asks, putting his hand on my arm again.

"Yeah I just... saw something weird." I try and mask my temper. I don't feel like being touched right now but I don't move his hand.

"Cleo! I see you've run into some old friends." I hear a familiar voice from above me. Jimin quickly slides himself into the conversation while wrapping his hand around my waist. Hongjoong quickly removes his hand from me as Jimin seemingly claims his territory. I feel a lot safer under Jimins touch in this distraught state but my cheeks still redden as he holds me this close in public. My plans for escaping have gone out the window and I decide that I need to be more drunk in order to be here, knowing that he's in here... doing what he's doing. My blood boils. I try and burry the thought as deep as it will go before I implode. This night has already been way too long and I've only been here for an hour. I tune out jimin and Hongjoong who are now talking about some new song. Almost on cue, my friend finally manages to find me and Hobi is not far behind her. She reaches Jimin and i with a suspicious smile on her face. I give her a look and nod my head towards Hobi with an innocent brow raised and she bursts out into laughter. I'm glad she's having fun with him. She approaches me, only inches away and holds out two white pills in the palm of her hand. Oh no.

"One for you," she says placing one into my hand, "and one for me." She says happily. I stay quite and unsure. Is this what everyone in here is taking?

"What is it?" I speak over the music. Jimin turns his attention to us.

"Molly! Have you done it before?" She asks. I shake my head. "Just take half then, trust me." She says before popping the pill into her mouth. I wish I could be as careless and fearless as her but even being in the state that I'm in right now, I don't think I can make this decision for myself. Who knows how this could turn out.

"Here," Jimin says from above me. I glance up at him, waiting for him to give me an answer as what to do. He takes the pill from my hand snd puts it in his mouth. He looks as if he's moving it around. Then, he sticks his tongue out, revealing half of the pill bitten off. I don't want to admit it, but that was really attractive. He points at the pill on the tip of his tongue then points at me, signaling that this is my half. Does he want me to... I look around and see Chungja and Hobi dancing with each other. On my other side, everyone in sight is too encapsulated in their own pleasure to to notice what I'm about to do. I turn back to my.... best friend. The image of Jungkook digging his hands into that girls ass to push himself into her runs through my head once more. And for him to look at me so shocked afterwords like we aren't in public. Fucking idiot. I want him to feel the way that I feel right now. I need to release this urge, this anger inside me. I stop caring about the world around me and peer up at Jimin before doing something I'll definitely     regret later.  I take my slightly shaky hands and place them on his cheeks before bringing my face to his. He immediately grabs my hips to pull them closer as I press my lips against his. It's probably the alcohol but electricity feels like it's flushing through my veins. I grow more confident and swipe the pill off of his tongue with my own before swallowing. I feel like I'm riding on an adrenaline high, like nothing around me matters anymore and Jimin is my distraction from what's really going on. The anger pours out of me as I deepen the kiss.

"Did you get it?" He pulls away, his face still inches from mine. I nod and pull him back towards me. The heat of the moment rises quickly and I feel his leg move between mine. His thigh presses against me and I nearly moan. He is filling every empty hole that Jungkook just ripped into me. I can't tell if it feels this good because I know it would hurt Jungkook just as much as he hurt me or if I'm just riding the biggest adrenaline high of my life. Perhaps it's a mixture of the two. Every time the guilt and jealousy manages to surface, I keep reminding myself that he doesn't see me the way I want him to. My biggest fear came true, I realized I am just a pawn on his chessboard. Nothing more.

I squeeze my eyes even tighter. The music and jimins movements drown out everything else going on around me. His hands grip my backside tightly, bringing me even closer to him. I continue to grind against his leg and begin to feel him grow against my pelvis. "Holy fuck." He breathes. He pushes his forehead against mine. I chuckle while trying to catch my breath. "You have no idea what I could do to you right now." He says with his eyes closed.

"Show me." I speak without thinking and he quickly pushes back onto me. As I begin to lose myself in the serenity of his lips once again, they are suddenly ripped away. My eyes shoot open as soon as I can't feel him in front of me anymore. I immediately set my vision on Jimin, fighting to get away from someone tightly gripping his arm. Once Jungkook pulls jimin far enough away, he aggressively shoves him, causing Jimin to bump into a group of girls standing nearby. A couple gasps come from the crowd. Jungkook follows after him while Jimin is trying to keep his balance. My feet feel like they are planted into the floor. That's when everything goes muffled, the only thing I can hear is my own breathing. You have to do something. This is because of you. I hear the voice inside my head say but I remain stationary. I watch them move in what seems like slow motion. Jungkook grabs Jimin by his collar and raises his fist. This cannot happen. This cannot happen. This cannot happen. I think I hear myself yell something but I can barely tell. Then, all of a sudden, my feet are moving me forward.