A Trees Life

Dear Daddy,

Dear Daddy,

I miss your smile. I miss your love. I miss the way your eyes always lit up when you saw me. What happened? Where have you gone? Your bitter words and looks of disgust cut deeper than a heated blade.

You were the last one. The last person I loved. The last person to treat me like a princess, love me endlessly, stick by my side... And then tear it all apart...

 Its like day by day you slowly slip from my grasp.. You are starting to fade away from me everyday... Falling into the darkness, into the forgeting... 

You no longer understand me, you dont give me the benefit of the doubt... It appears you no longer care about me. I'm worthless and a waste of space.

 But... Knowing that.. It hurts me more than ANYTHING! Its even worse than when I realized mother hated me, even worse than all those times I heard my brother scream about how worthless and cruel I am; how he will always hate me.

And you all wonder why I dont care anymore... School isnt important if I have nothing to fight for.

Daddy, do you hate me because I am the outcome of my mother? Everytime you look at me do you see her? Because everyone sees you in me... Why do something like that to me? Do I disgust you? Does the thought of a child of my mother repulse you now? Are you going to leave me like everyone else? Start a new family with your amazing girlfriend? Are you going to leave your princess for the sake of another woman?

Or do you hate me  because I was your first living mistake?

Because Destiny died and I didnt...

I know, I should have died when I had the chance. I know I was a screw up since the day I was born. Late, impaired, with nothing special about me... I get it. No matter how hard I try to be your ideal daughter theres always gunna be a flaw to me that in your delisiounal mind Destiny wouldnt have had! WELL GUESS WHAT IM NOT DESTINY, I AM ADRIANA, SO GO TRY TO FULFILL YOUR DREAM DAUGHTER SOMEWHERE ELSE!! OK? Dont try to make me something perfect because I dont want to be perfect... I dont want to be a robot full of useless facts. I WANT TO BE SOMEONE WHO HELPS PEOPLE, BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!!! 

All I ever hear about is how cute Anthony was as a baby, how fragile and wise Destiny was before she died... But me? Who knows? And frankly who really cares?

So sorry daddy that you dont like me. Tell mommy I'm sorry that she hates me too. Im just trying to be me in a world that is constantly fighting that. Im trying to do what I feel is right...

Sincerely,

Your little Princess

Adriana