When porcelain is rebuilt

Shadows

I sit by the fire, slowly embroidering four flowers. One blue, one white, one yellow and one.. brown. The brown one leaned closer to the ground as the three stood proud and tall.

The hoop is put in my lap as I look out the window. No one visits me anymore. Even Dream has stopped visiting me in my room. I scream at the door for them to come, wanting- needing someone here, but no one comes.

Being alone is my worst fear. I can't be alone. But they left me alone. I guess this is what my actions get me.

I slowly pick it up and do a running stitch down the flower to make a stem. Using my teeth, I cut it off and place it on my wall.

My dress flows over my feet as I go to the door again. I knock on it and sigh
"I promise... please... i need you" I beg, in a soft voice.

I roll my head sideways on the door as nothing comes from the other side. Its silence.  Always silence. 

This place is just... silent. Is anyone here anymore? have they left me to die?

The fire roars behind me. I go and poke it, making sure the flames don't jump out of the hearth.

My energy has drained. I'm just tired all the time. It feels like someone has sucked the life out of me. Is this growing up? Is this what they mean. I'm acting more like Toriel. Calm, collected and doing more productive things. Maybe this is what they wanted. Me to grow up. So I can be a better partner. 

Well, it makes sense. Who wants a child. Who wants to date an energetic, selfish brat.

I look over. Night has fallen. My shadows rise on the wall behind me. I'm not alone anymore. I've made friends with my shadow. It doesn't talk back, but it's a good listener.

"I'm alone" I draw out "I'm alone"

That's it. That's all I have to say today.

The pain in my heart spikes, and it feels even more heavy. I dont even have the energy to speak.

I slide down the wall and stare at the door, willing someone to come through. Anyone to come through.

My shadow hugs me before going back to dancing on the wall.

I'm alone.

I'm always alone.