The Heartbroken and His Repairer (Boyxboy)

Chapter 6

Nicolas pulled in his driveway and parked his car. Hurrying in his room, he sprinted up the stairs, opened his door and threw himself on his bed, after he had slammed his door shut. He cried. He cried a lot. Soon his room was filled with loud sobs. Why can't I be happy? , Nicolas thought. And while he thought so another fear is popping up in his mind. What if they will start bullying me for being gay? Spencer also knows everything about my depression. He won't tell, right?!
If he knew at that time he wouldn't have gone to school. After he wasn't able to cry anymore tears, anger started to become the main emotion. He was furious he didn't even know why. He went up to his docking station, plugged in his iPod and soon 'Home Is For The Heartless' by Parkway Drive was blasting through his room, Nicolas started to scream along. He was good at it, and his singing skills were actually the only thing he was proud of.
After sometime his stomach began to growl, so he had to leave his room (unfortunately). As he shut his door he heard the voices of his parents. He sneaked downstairs and overheard his obviously arguing 'producers'. Considering this people as his parents was actually a lie. Parents love their children no matter what, accept them and support them. Parents are people who care about your whereabouts, feelings, interests etc. And parents are the people you should always be able to count on.
These people just produced Nicolas, feed him and all this things which are necessary to live.
Father: "He never leaves his room. Stupid faggot."
Mother: "You are right but what can we do about it?"
F: "We could kick this failure out"
M: "No, unfortunately not. What about the neighbours? They would find out and what would the neighbourhood thinl about us. I am sorry but we have to deal with this sorry excuse of a son until he is 18."
F: "You are right. God how I hate to be a parent."
M: "Why could I have a normal son?"

Wow this shit hurt. Thanks "mom" and "dad". I already know that I am better off dead. Shit, thanks to them this depressing thoughts are taking over my mind. Nicolas thought bitterly and sad.
He wasn't hungry anymore so he crept upstairs, locked his door behind him and went to his bathroom. He opened his drawer, pulled out a tiny box where he hid his blades. Think about Katie. She wanted to be friends with you. A silent voice in his mind told him. No one wants to be friends with me. I am a lost cause, messed up and gay. A mean voice fought the nice one. No you aren't. Love yourself. Please. What a waste of perfectly good, clean wrist. The nice one said. Good and clean my ass. Have you seen my arms? The other one hissed. They are healing. Please fight! Nicolas closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face. He closed the box and put it back, willing to stop to harm himself even more.

They think you're crazy.
They think you're mad.
They call you stupid, worthless, tell you you're not worth it.

Now you're walkin' back, to a place you call home,
but you feel so alone.

The same hurtful hits, it's your darker place.
In your virgin ears, the remarks they make.

And if they, if they really knew all of those things.
That you do in your room, to hide the pain.
I bet their minds would change.

I'll bet their minds would change.

They'd change, If they knew the pain.

I believe in these scars, I believe.

'If you knew' by Joel Faviere was the first thing he heard from him. It was part of a 'Suicide Room' fan video (A/N Suicide Room is an awesome movie, should definetly watch it)

He did. But now he has to be strong. Strong for himself. Maybe it would be a lot easier to be strong for someone else, I mean how the hell would fight for someone they already gave up?