Ruthless Revenge

Chapter 26

Trigger Warning: Drugs

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As Holden's departing footsteps faded into the distance, the hospital room enveloped me in a quiet solitude. My heart echoed with a mixture of anger, sorrow, and a profound sense of loss. The weight of my loneliness pressed heavily upon my shoulders, threatening to suffocate me with the weight of regrets. I closed my eyes, the scene from the night before played out in my mind like a bittersweet movie reel. The memory transported me back to the stillness of that solitary evening.

I sat on the edge of my bed; the silence suffocating as the shadows danced on the walls, whispering reminders of all that had unraveled. The weight of my mistakes pressed upon me, and I couldn't help but question how I had arrived at this painful juncture. 

Memories of the courtroom battle flooded my mind, each word, each accusation slicing through my spirit. The pain of losing custody of Kieran had been a crushing blow, tearing apart the fabric of our lives and leaving me to navigate the desolate aftermath.

In the solitude of that moment, the echo of Holden's accusations lingered, piercing through my thoughts. Had I failed as a mother? Had I told Holden I was pregnant, would I still be in this situation? The doubts swirled relentlessly, wrapping around me like tendrils of darkness. I couldn't sleep. No, the truth was that I didn't want to sleep or even try to. If I so much as lay down on the bed and closed my eyes, then images of the day floated in my mind.

Images of Kieran, walking through the mall, happy and excited to get new toys.

Images of Holden being the father he never got an opportunity to be. 

A choking sob escaped me as I wrapped my arms around my body, feeling that I had to hold myself together or else I'd fall apart completely.

'Oh, Kieran..." moaned his name in despair. My arms felt empty, and my heart ached with the longing to hold him.

I would never get to see my baby again, not if Holden could help it. He clearly had no intention of ever forgiving me for what I had done. And who could blame him? How could I blame him after what I did?

I swiped the back of my hand against my eye to wipe away the tears that had welled up there, threatening to fall.

Why should Holden be able to forgive me when I couldn't forgive myself?

He would never give me another opportunity. I knew that he hated me, but until today I never had truly realized just how much.   The walls felt like they were closing in, suffocating me with the knowledge that he now held full custody of my precious baby. The ache in my heart intensified, and I couldn't help but wonder how it had all come to this.

Lost in my thoughts, I was startled by a gentle knock on the door, and Christina entered the room with a sympathetic smile.

"Katiana, are you okay?" Christina asked with genuine concern, her eyes filled with empathy.

I forced a smile, attempting to hide the pain that gnawed at my soul. "I'm trying to be," I replied softly, my voice wavering.

Christina sat down beside me, her reassuring presence a balm to my wounded heart. "I heard what happened with the court case. I'm so sorry, Katiana. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I nodded, my voice choked with emotion. "He got full custody, Christina. Kieran is now with him, and I don't even know when I'll be able to see him again."

Her hand reached out to hold mine, offering a comforting squeeze. "I know it's tough, but don't lose hope. You're Kieran's mother, and no court order can erase the love you have for him."