Snow Man

Chapter 19 - forever gone

Last one guys!!

I'm sad its over but I'm glad I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Yay!! Hope you enjoy it

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I just sat there staring at the wall.

The doctor was back and telling me what happened to my baby.

But I wasn't listen, I knew what happened. I failed Lauren. I failed Annie.

She was dead. That's all that mattered.

I caught parts of the doctors voice through the invisible walls I built around myself.

"Car crash."

"Head on."

"Broken bones."

"Major brain damage."

"Barely alive when we found you."

"Died in ambulance."

"Did everything we could."

"Very sorry."

"Your lucky."

At that I glared at this man. How is this lucky. My life is dead. My daughter. My wife. Both in a better place, while I was left behind to grieve and miss them.

"I should have been the one to die. Not my little girl. Annie didn't deserve this. I am anything but lucky. I have no one left in this world."

"I am sorry for your loss, sir." the doctor got up and moved towards the door.

My eyes followed his movement. He didn't seem to care if my daughter had lived or died. But he didn't have to care. It wasn't his job to care.

"oh and sir before I forget, the police called, they identified the driver of the other car."

This stopped my thoughts. I didn't even spare a second thought for the poor man.

"who was it?" i was surprisingly curious, he was dead, but I wanted to pay my respects to him. Or at least try.

"well that is the funny thing, did you recognise this man?"

I frowned, "no I didn't. Why?"

He let out a small humourless laugh, "well from the records we have of him, he was your late wife's twin brother, Blake. Your brother in law."

Uncle Blake. Just like Annie had said. The man that was killed in the accident, was my wife's killer.

I smiled ever so slightly. "thanks doc. Can I go home now?"

"I will organise it immediately, sir."

I nodded in response.

My wife's killer is dead. But my daughters killer still runs free.

Why is that? Shouldn't I be taken away? Put into a prison with all the other murders? Shouldn't I pay for the crimes I have committed? Am I the only one that has this view? Probably.

The nurse came in then. She gave me a small smile, and turned off all the machines next to me. Taking out the IV was the easy part of the operation, for then I needed to get in my wheelchair. But after a lot of pushing and pulling I was sitting down in my chair, a blanket draped over my broken leg and shoulders slumped in defeat. I was sick of fighting. I was tired of losing. I wanted complete happiness for once. I wanted my family. Tears fell from my eyes on their own accord, I couldn't hold it in any more. I grieved for my wife, I grieved for Annie, I grieved for everyone I have ever lost. I was sick of fighting it.

Only the voice of the nurse broke through my thoughts once more.

"sir we have reached your cab."

Looking up I saw we were now outside. A huge roof hung over our heads, a couple ambulances to the side of us unloading passengers, and a bright yellow van in front of me, the driver waiting to load me and my chair onto the lift. I can finally go home.

The cabbie smiled at the nurse and took the position behind me and turned me around to face the pretty nurse.

She smiled at me softly,"Under these circumstances, I hope I never see you here again."

I gave her a weak smile in return. "I doubt you will."

"Goodbye Mr. McConnel."

I just nodded my head. I just didn't want to say anything. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to suffer alone. I alone want to grieve for my girls.

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I got home before dark to an empty house. I don't know what day it is, or what time it is. But I don't care. I rolled in the front door trying desperately not to look at the pictures I knew were hanging on the walls. This house was practically a shrine to Lauren. It was Annie's idea. She said it was so mum didn't miss out on seeing her growing up.

I smiled at the memory. She was always so strong. She kept me in one piece even at the toughest of times. She didn't act her age at all. She was a mature, young lady. Lauren would have been proud of how grown up she was.

Was.

The past tense.

Not is.

I want my girls back.

And know exactly he to get them back in my arms.

A while after my wife died I began to find guns and knifes stashed all around the house in places that I never would have looked. In cook books, the book shelf and even some in my wife's clothes. It shocked me at first. 'why would she have had weapons? Was she protecting something?' but I soon let all of my questions past. I would never find the answer to them. So why bother keeping myself up at night thinking about them. Those questions came back to me now. I wanted answers. And I would soon get them. I stashed some of these weapons. Put them in a safe hidden under the stairs.

I went to that safe now, to dig through it, see what I did keep.

Putting Annie's birthday as the lock combination seemed like a good idea at the time, but now my hands couldn't help but shake, tears threatening to return.

After a few long moments the small door made a thump, and it swung open slowly.

Staring at me as the door opened was a picture of Lauren and Annie the day she was born. I remember it so clearly. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

I lifted the precious picture and clutched it to my chest. I want them back. I want my life back.

Wiping away the last of my tears I grabbed what I wanted and left the safe open. I don't need it anymore, so why lock it. Wheeling myself out I made my way towards the family room, where all the pictures of my girls hung on the walls. I looked at all of them a recalled each of the memories the held.

Annie's first day of school.

When me and Lauren first bought the house.

The day Annie lost her first tooth.

All of the small things in our life hung on this wall. We treasured every single one of them.

And now it was time to say goodbye,

Taking one last breath,

Nothing more keeping me here,

Only seeing the dead,

I put the gun to my head...

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Such a happy ending..... Kinda, not really.

Took me a whole bloody year but it's done, I hope you liked it!

I know I happy that it's over!!

Thanks for your support guys and tell me what ya thought of it!!!

Thanks again,

The devils minion ;)