The Autobiography of SNAILSLIVEONJUPITER

My scavenge for Food

In the early days of my kingdom, food was scarce, and the majority of my land was still taken over by bees.

So I decided that it was up to me to venture off to a distant land known as Wendy's, and retrieve an original chicken sandwich.

I decided to take along with me my most valiant knight, known as sir Hops. As his name suggests, he is in fact a frog. I will be carrying him along this journey in order to save his strength for when he is needed.

My first obstacle was the highway to New York. Which was simple. I grabbed a nearby rock and through it at a car. The car pulled over, and a man ran out toward me holding a crowbar, so I ran over to his car and claimed it as my own. I drove away with my expert driving skills and went to the city of New York.

I found a nearby Wendy's, exited the car and entered inside. I approached a man wearing black at a counter and held Sir Hops up to him and said, "It is I, SNAILSLIVEONJUPITER, king of the jungle. You must surrender your rations at once or face the wrath of my most noble knight."

The man in black replied,

"Fuck the two weeks notice, I'm out."

And so he walked out of the building and forfeited his position allowing me to infiltrate their base.

I lept behind the counter, and there I found a stash of bags, and metal bins on a shelf plentiful with chicken nuggets and french fries salty as the ocean.

But there was one problem, a middle aged worker collecting rations in a bag noticed me, and called the police department. 

And so, I unleashed Sir Hops on her. I ran to the bags, gathered as much rations as possible, got sir Hops, left the building, rushed to my car, and sped back to the jungle.

That day, sir Hops got an extra hour of playing with my belly and a badge of honor.