Bernice

33

May 6
Lonte,

"Lonte will serve 4 years in jail for selling and possession of marijuana with possible parole depending on behavior." The judge banged the gravel. "Court adjourned." He announced. They couldn't find out which one of us shot him. They don't have any evidence if it was even one of us. That part of the case is on hold till they find more evidence. The videos shows August tied up and me coming to save them and us leaving. They did an autopsy and realized he died before the time we left the building but they need more evidence than that. They need the gun.

I looked at Kaylee. She was crying. They took me out of the courtroom. Four years may not seem as a long time for most people. It is for me. Four long years. Damn. I'm going to miss a lot. I won't be able to raise my son. I haven't even seen him yet. I failed as a father. Kaylee will be like a single mom and that's going to be hard for her.

They transported me to the county jail. When I got to the county jail, they gave me some food which I barely touched. I'm not allowed any conjugal visits. I am allowed 2 visits a month. I don't even want Kaylee to visit me. It'll be too much stress for her.

This is my first charge and first real jail time. I have been locked up before but never charged. It was only a couple days in jail. My bond is 150,000. I don't have a problem bailing myself out, but what happens to me, Kaylee and the baby when I get out. If I pay it, we will be left with nothing and I can't let that happen.

I am in a room with six bunk beds and they are only eight of us. I got up from the bed. There is an officer walking by. "Hey." I said. The officer came to the cell. "Yes." She said. She was a white women with this mean look.

"Can I call someone?" I asked. She opened the cell and let me out. "Follow me." She instructed. She took me to where the phones are. I went to the booth and dialed Kaylee's number. The officer gave me some space.

"Hello." Kaylee quavered. "Hey. It's me." I said. "Are you ok?" She asked. "Yeah. I'm good. How's Ezra?" I asked. "He's good." She mentioned. We stayed quiet for a bit.

"Did they give you any bond?" She questioned. "Yes, but I don't want you to worry about that." I told her. Even if it's paid, I will still end up back here for the pending charge. "Are you sure?" She questioned. "Yes." I assured.

Bernice,

I feel like my life is on hold. I'm suffocating. I can no longer go to school because of August. "What's your game plan?" Violet asked. "Everything is just-" My phone started ringing. It's my dad. I haven't been picking his calls. Violet looked at my phone. She answered it and put it on my ear. "Hello." I said while glaring at her.

"Bernice, who am I to you?" He asked. "My father." I confirmed. "It's good you know." He spoke. I sighed. "I am sorry. I just have a lot of things going on." I apologized. "I know, but that doesn't give you a reason to ignore my calls." He told me. "What do you mean you know?" I asked. "Violet told me." He mentioned.

I hit her arm. "Ouch." She yelped. I told her not to tell Dad and she did. I went to my room and locked the door. "How are you doing?" He asked. "It's just hard for me. The kids keep asking about him and I don't even know what to tell them." I troubled. Every time they ask I change the subject, but I can't keep doing that. The worst is that August doesn't want them to see him until he's fully out.

"I can't help you with that. That's something you and August have to discuss." He mentioned. I want to tell them the truth, but August rather let me lie to them. When they get older, they need to know the truth. "If I would have told you not to date him like your mother, you would have said we are wicked and we do not want to see you happy." He said.

"Wait, what?" I said confusedly. "I never wanted you to be with him. You deserved so much better and you still do." He mentioned. I was in disbelief. He has always been supportive of my relationship. Why is he saying this now? "Why would you pretend to be supportive?" I asked. I heard him sigh over the phone.

"I needed to be supportive. You already had one unsupportive parent and having both of us being unsupportive wouldn't have been good for you. I wanted the best for you, so while you were fighting your mom I decided to be supportive. You were going to do what you wanted anyways." He explained. I was taken back "Wow." I expressed.

The problem my parents must have with him is that he was a drug dealer. Now, him being in jail makes it worse. "I think you should end things with this boy." He opinionated. "I will not do that. You know I love him and we have children together." I defended.

I could hear him sigh over the phone. "BB, can't you see that this man isn't good for you." He called me by my childhood nickname. "How's the business going, dad?" I deflected. I hope he'll drop the subject for now. "BB-" He started. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." I told him.

My dad said that he will see if he can come and be with the kids with me while we're in New York. It'll make things so much easier to me if that happens. Now that my dads words are playing in my head I can't help but think that my sister knew that he was against my relationship.

I bet Violet is taking a nap, I'll ask her later. My phone started ringing while on my way to get a drink from the kitchen. "Hi Kaylee." I picked up. I heard a lot of noise from the kids in the background. "Can y'all stop?" Kaylee yelled.

I heard her sigh. "Bernice please come and get your kids. I can't handle them anymore." She pleaded. I laughed. " I'll be over right away." I said. "Thanks." She said before ending the call. Kaylee being a new mom has exceeded my expectations. She's doing so well with her newborn. She's also able to watch my kids which I never expected. I know this time she's watching the kids as a distraction to what happened today.