Insatiable Beauty | Jikook

Solitude

"I dislike how tense I am without you"
****

Jimin's POV

(Flashback)

I hesitantly made my way out the restaurant and towards the parking lot. I could feel my mind thrumming against my skull as I paced around the various parked vehicles.

I know Jungkook had asked me to wait in the car, but I couldn't sit still knowing that the reality I had tried so hard to shield from Ji was exposed, and without my prior knowledge.

I felt queasy, the dormant emotions I worked tirelessly to keep at bay were resurfacing and making their presence known. I could sense the trepidation envelope and eat at my skin as melancholy swarmed my fatigued body.

I hadn't even had the chance to mourn the loss of my parents before Ji became my ultimate responsibility. I was all he had, and he was all I had. So I worked hard to make sure that he was never unnoticed, showering him with love and affection, giving him all I had in order for him to not notice what others deemed as "lacking".

But of course, there are times where he'd notice. He'd question a few things every now and then, then follow up with more queries regarding our parents. I had a feeling that he'd come to acceptance of our absent parents, that he eventually accepted the fact that they were no longer there.

Not because they didn't want to, but because they couldn't. But he didn't know that. And that was my first mistake.

It was reassuring that he accepted it, but heart wrenching that it was due to the wrong conclusion.

And there's no one to blame but myself. I allowed it to get to this stage, I dragged it on for so long in hopes of never facing confrontation. I suppose the entire time... it wasn't because I was afraid of telling Ji, but more so having to come to terms with the simple reality that I've lost my mom and dad.

It was my selfish tendency, hoping to shield my own frail heart.

I let out an exasperated sigh, combing a hand through my hair as I made it to the car. I might as well spend my time contemplating whilst I wait for them, despite dreading the deprecating thoughts my mind will conjure.

However I felt a hand grip my arm and pull me back harshly, causing me to yelp out at the sudden movement.

"C-chef Lee?..." I questioned as I pulled my arm back, massaging it with my other hand "What're you doing here?..."

"I needed to speak with you" he retorted, glancing around discreetly. Well, he tried to do it in a discreet way, but the dude wasn't so bright...

"You could've just called or something. You didn't have to grab my arm in such a manner"

He scoffed, taking a step closer. I of course took a step back. Not because I was intimidated, not at all, but because he reeked of alcohol. So unpleasant.

"Is that so?" He sneered "In case you have forgotten, I am free to do whatever I wish, this is my res-

"No it is not. If I remember correctly, we have a restraining order against you. In other words you're violating the order by simply being on this premises. Let alone standing right in front of me"