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October 20th,2021
"You can't hide from me" a black figure stood in front of me. I tried to sit up and felt chains on my wrist holding me down. But once I looked it was nothing there connecting me to anything.
"I'm never going anywhere. You're stuck with me" the figure stood back as I tried to see its face but it's completely blacked out with a hoodie of some sorts.I felt a sharp pain in my stomach and I screamed out in agony. Nothing was cutting me but I seen the blood and definitely felt the pain.
"Should I cut deeper and answer your prayers? Huh? Do you really deserve to live?" The shadow quickly appeared in my face making my breath get caught in my throat. I closed my eyes since that was the only movement I was able to do.
My phone loudly rang knocking me back into reality. Slowly looking around noticing I was in my bathroom some how. Looking in the mirror at myself seeing my hair all over my head and tears freely spilling from my eyes. Reaching to grab my phone a sharp pain shot through my body making extra tears drop. Looking down seeing blood I panicked, turning to my left seeing myself in the full body mirror that was hanging from my bathroom door. Feeling around my stomach it was a deep slash down it. Not understanding how that got there I just sat on the floor going into my cabinets grabbing the first aid kit. This isn't nor will be the last time I go through this. Whenever I go to sleep I never remember a thing but constantly waking up to new marks on my body. Cleaning and stitching up the wound, I decided for today to take a hoe bath so my wound wouldn't be infected in anyway. After washing up I flat iron my wig I just got installed a day ago. Finding an outfit to wear which was a brown matching set.
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Make sure the jacket covered my stomach cause I don't need people in my business. No one knows about the voices and the suicidal thoughts. Whenever I get in that mood I distant myself until I'm able to smile through the pain. My mom is even oblivious to everything goin on in her own home. My mom Nakia has her own problems to worry about so why worry her about mine? Once my father passed we both turned into people we didn't know anymore. Deciding not to dwell on it anymore before I slip into that hole,I walked in the kitchen surprise to see my mom. She drowns herself in work, she works at the hospital as a nurse full time. She's either on call or simply just goes in when she wants just to get away. Instead of moving out the house my parents first bought she thought it would be a good idea to keep the house in his memory but I disagree so I will be moving soon plus I'm 19 getting too old to be here.
