L U R E

Thirty-Three*

TRIGGER WARNING: continued use of opioids

I find myself at a paint station where someone is painting stripes on my face and giving me glow stick bracelets

I wonder when the x will kick in so far I didn't feel-

It hit me hard, everything immediately became more vibrant, colors more bold and the feeling of happiness and love overwhelms me. I walk through the sea of people idly, wandering.

"Ari!" I spot her staring off into space. I grab ahold of her hand and the physical touch was somehow stimulating. She touches my arm dragging her fingers down it. She felt it too.

"I love you Ari, I'm so happy right now!"

"It's Arielle. It's my full name." She gleams "are you kidding me that's beautiful!" I hug her and when i pull back she's gawking at me. "Can I kiss you Amaya?" I giggle. "Yes!" Her lips on mine and it felt so stimulating, loving, welcoming but mostly it felt euphoric. I wanted this with them. "I have to find Lee and Kai!" I shout over the music. "Okay I'm gonna find a chick to make out with!" She smiles.

I walk through the sea of dancing people until I find them, they were making out in the middle of the crowd and all I could do was watch lustfully.

I liked seeing them like this.
It was honestly hot. "Amaya!" I'm tugged by JT who cups my cheeks. "You look so beautiful today. I'm kind of jealous."

"Why jealous?" I tilt my head.

"Because you want them, but if you didn't I would steal you away in a heartbeat."

"What about Dani?"

"I mean...I do like her." He gives me a sadder smile.

"But..." he trails off for a moment. "I just wish it was you."

"You don't mean that Jamie..." He looks up at me. "Yeah you're right." He shakes his head, a smile on his face that doesn't reach his eyes.

"But you said that you liked Dani...so You should tell her!" I try to change the subject.

"Yeah you're right, maybe I will, later Amaya."He disappears into the crowd.

I wasn't expecting a confession like that from JT. I'd never thought of him in a romantic way.

I turn around walking over to my boys and tug Levi's shirt.

"Amaya hey!" His voice was hoarse. "Wow you're so beautiful." I grab both of their hands and we walk towards the back of the crowd.

"I like you guys too." I blurt.

"Really?" Kai stares at me with wide eyes. I nod smiling.

"You don't know how happy that makes me." Levi pulls me towards him for a kiss, he kisses me, and then Kai kisses me and then they kiss each other.

I don't know how or when but all three of us were now outside sitting in the grass.

"We thought you were going to reject us." Kai says staring at the stars. "Why?" I frown.

"We didn't think that we deserved you." Kai mumbles. "You think that you don't deserve Me?" I ask in disbelief.

"I thought that maybe...maybe you guys just wanted fun. Maybe I was nothing special to you." They were now looking at me. "I'm not all that great. And You guys are really hot and like Dani said everyone wants you." I bite my lip. I was letting all of my thoughts flow out.

"How could you think that?" Levi asks bewildered. "You're beautiful and kind and everyone looks at you all the time whether it's with lust or envy...how could you not know?"