Peaky blinders imagines

Yours Truly

John x reader 

1911

dear john 

I haven't wrote to you in a while i hope you and your brothers are staying out of trouble but then again where ever you all go trouble follows. I hope Poll and Ada are okay. I am  now in Liverpool and let me tell you its amazing feels just like small heath much better than London father says we should be home by next month if business goes well. The only thing missing is you i love john and hope to see you soon.

yours truly (y/n)

 dear (y/n)

we miss you a lot down here and cant wait till your back everyone is doing well.i hope you enjoy Liverpool but not to much without me. i also wanted to tell you this in person but your not coming home till next month Martha is having a baby and its mine. Im sorry i ope you can forgive me .yours truly john .

(y/n) pov 

I read the last sentence for the 100th time since i opened the letter. He slept with her,my john  the man who promised me we would get married and run away from small heath and live in the country and have a family.he was having a family but not with me with Martha one of my closet friends. i felt the tears slip down my checks and in that moment i knew i had to forget john Shelby. I threw the letter into the fire i needed to start a new life without  him in it and that's what i was going to do. the last part of the letter replayed in my head "yours truly" but in reality  he wasn't mine he was Martha's. i looked at the paper that was now ash.

"goodbye john"

1919

the war had changed everything men lost their lives and women and children lost heir husbands and fathers. i felt lucky my father and brothers where fine and so was my husband. 

My marriage was not out of love but more for business even with this in hand i still cared about billy. he needed a wife and my father thought i needed a husband.

Billy cared for me we moved to London and he provided me with everything i needed.I rember the day that Billy had stormed into  the house shouting about how the peaky blinders trashed his club and how he needed to go to small heath and that i should pack my thing staright away.

We where now in small heath and i felt at home it still looked and smelt the same. A tingle of excitment ran through my body. I could see him.HIM.

Billy had been shot by Tommy. This is how i was going to see him tom had asked to speak to bilys wife. i didnt know if he knew it was me but from what i can rember of tom was that he was always 4 steps ahead. i walked up the street that i spent half of my life on i knocked on the shelbys door and it took a few moments before the door was answerd i was met with boyish blue eyes . the ones i had never forgotten it was him he stood there in complete shock. my body frooze as i looked him over he looked the same just a little bit more mature but it was john my john. my brain retracted that statement he wasnt my john he was marthas.

"hello john is tommy here im ment to see him for a meeting" i kept my tone cold 

john looked shocked at my tone "i havent see you in years and you dont even give me a "

"i dont want to hug you john and to be honest i dont even want to talk to you your out of my life now i hope your happy with martha"

"martha died"

the tension was thick.

 "john im so sorry i didnt know"

"its fine you didnt know why have you come to see tommy"

"He shot my husband"