Clover: Would you slap Pomegranate-
Licorice: Yes.
Clover: I didn't even finish!
Licorice: Sorry, continue.
Clover: Would you slap Pomegranate for 10 dollars?
Licorice: I would do it for free.
Pomegranate: Rude...
Pomegranate: Hey, Licorice, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Licorice: Yeah.
Pomegranate: And you, Clover?
Clover: Umm... yes?
Pomegranate: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Clover: Did they just-
Sparkling: You bought a taco?
Vampire: Yes.
Sparkling: From the same truck that hit Herb?!
Vampire, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.
Sparkling: I'm not doing to well.
Herb: What's wrong?
Sparkling: I have this headache that comes and goes.
*Vampire enters the room*
Sparkling: There it is again.
Herb, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Vampire, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You're staying home and having my kids.
Sparkling: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Herb: Playing systemic oppression.
LMAO
Vampire: Sparkling and I got married!!
Herb: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.
damn LMAOOOOOO HARSH
Herb: Everyone synchronise your watches.
Sparkling: I don't know how to do that.
Vampire: I don't wear a watch.
Lilac: Time is a construct.
Lilac: ARE YOU-
Vampire: Fucking.
Lilac: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Vampire: Fucking.
Lilac: IDIOT!
Sparkling: ...What was that?
Vampire: Herb banned Lilac from swearing, so I'm helping them out.
Herb: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.
Vampire: Well, that was entirely predictable.
Herb: One of them punched a gang member.
Vampire: Sparkling?
Herb: Lilac, actually.
Vampire: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.
Herb: *sees Sparkling and Vampire together*
Herb: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.
Lilac: You mean... you ship them?
HELL YEA I DO
Herb: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Sparkling, Lilac, & Vampire: Okay.
Herb: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Sparkling: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Lilac: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Vampire: Bold of you to assume I can die.
Herb: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Vampire: Not if they consent to it.
Sparkling: Depends on who your stabbing.
Lilac: YES??!!?
Herb: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Herb: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Lilac: Bonjour.
Sparkling: Le growl.
Vampire: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.
Dark Choco: I dropped Milk.
Purple Yam: Dark Choco, what the fuck.
Purple Yam: I told Milk that their ears turn red when they lie.
Dark Choco: Do they?
Purple Yam: No.
Dark Choco: Then why did you tell them that?
Purple Yam: Because I can do this.
Purple Yam: Hey Milk! Do you love us?
Milk, with their hands over their ears: No.
Dark Choco: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.
Purple Yam: Milk is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Dark Choco.
Milk: I feel like Dark Choco is the more responsible one of us two though.
Dark Choco: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.
Milk: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other's hands so the other doesn't fall off.
Purple Yam, knocking on the door: Dark Choco, open up!
Dark Choco: It all started when I was a kid.
Purple Yam: That's not what I-
Milk: Let them finish!
Dark Choco: Go ahead, Purple Yam. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry.
Milk: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.
Purple Yam: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you're single?
Milk: Do not do that.
Purple Yam: You won't even notice!
Dark Choco, entering: Purple Yam, you wanted to see me again?
Purple Yam: Milk's single
Milk:
Purple Yam: *looks at Milk*
Purple Yam: Baby boy. Baby.
Purple Yam: *looks at Dark Choco*
Purple Yam: Evil.
Purple Yam: The results are in, I'm afraid you have updog...
Dark Choco: What's updog?
Purple Yam: Milk! Get in here, I told you I could do it!
Milk: Well, remember when Dark Choco made a romantic dinner for me?
Purple Yam: Milk, they microwaved you a pizza.
Pancake: Custard, what do you value about Onion?
Custard: They're thoughtful. They pick flowers and bring them to me. Often they're ones I've just planted, but...
Onion: That's how I know they're fresh!
Custard: *cooking*
Pancake: *kicks down door*
Pancake: *grabs knife from Custard's hand*
Pancake: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Custard:
Custard: What.
Onion: They're trying to tell you they want to cook.
Pancake: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.
Custard: Sacrifice? I nominate Onion.
Onion: Wait, what?
Custard: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.
Onion: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world!
Pancake: Its not that kind of of sacrifice guys!
Custard: And here we see Onion and Pancake in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.
Onion: Gaelic bread.
Pancake: Grueling brad.
Onion: Ha ha, glamorous beans.
Custard: Just think about this! I'm your hottest friend.
Custard: No, that's Pancake... I'm your nicest friend.
Custard: No, Onion... I'm your friend!
Onion: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Pancake, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?
Custard, whispering: Because I have little hands.
Pancake: Because they have little hands.
Custard: I know we're not exactly friends, but-
Pancake: What do you want?
Custard: I've been stuck with Onion for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.
Custard: Help.
Onion: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. Pancake has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.
Custard: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don't want to be at?
Onion: I knew you'd understand.
YOU ARE READING
CRK Headcanons!
FanfictionLike the title said, these are my own Cookie Run: Kingdom headcanons! Be aware that these will include ships(info inside!) Please no hating on anything in this book! Happy reading!
