Rapture

13

12 year old Kira is screaming watching me "skate".

My ego is in pieces currently being shipped back in time. Maybe 12 year old Kira can take better care of it.

The things we do to not get caught up in the past.

Oliver has been holding my hands the whole time which is the only plus to this.

He's trying not to laugh, holding it in.

"Shut up." I smack his chest laughing.

"Sorry. It's just, you can't even stand up straight." He finally lets out his laugh, practically doubling over.

His goddamn dimples get me every time.

When recovers he shakes his head.

"I don't think I can date you if you can't skate. It might be a dealbreaker." He says smiling.

"Who's says we are dating Meyers? I thought we were just friends?" I tease as I hold onto the boards going backwards as he follows me.

His eyes flicker to my mouth and back up to my eyes.

"Do you kiss all your friends in a closet or just the quiet ones?"

"I don't know. Maybe you should come over tonight and we can find out together."

My skate gets caught on the wall and I trip backwards.

Thankfully Oliver catches me because I was definitely distracted.

He holds me just above the ice.

"This is so cheesy." I say breathless.

He scans my face. "You're right." he says then lets me go.

I let out a screech because I thought I was farther from the ice but I landed on my back with a small thud.

He skates away and I just lay there absorbing the coolness from the ice.

I let out a breath and close my eyes.

My first time on the ice in so long and I'm pretending to trip every step.

I wish I could just go fast and mark up the ice with my own skates.

"Are you crying?"

My eyes snap open and Kelsey stands over me.

"I am? Weird. Can you help me up please." Almost vomiting on my words.

How the hell am I going to sit through a whole game?

How fucking pathetic.

"Oliver, you douche! You just left her on the ice!" Kelsey yells.

"I'm fine don't worry. I probably deserve it." I force a laugh.

Kelsey regards me with a look of pity.

"What?"

"I'm not sure." She sighs.

I look at her confused waiting for her to explain but her eyes widen when she looks behind me.

I shuffle to turn around and Jason is headed straight for us at full speed.

Kelsey hides behind me and I just let the rest happen because its too late to move now.

Jason stops just before us and uses the force of the stop to scrape off ice right onto me.

Kelsey peaks around and me and glares at Jason.

"Real mature man."

"What?" He looks at her innocently.

"It was the grand finally cause we gotta get off now. Before we get in trouble."

Kelsey helps me across the rink while Jason continues to circle us.

"Who did you say was circling who, Patel? Hm?"

DROP YOUR NON-EXISTANT GLOVES TOWNES DO IT. FIGHT HIM. My inner 12 year old is screaming.

"Ha. Ha." I smile.

"I'm gonna beat someone up." I mumble.

"What was that Lucia?"

"Oh nothing!" I smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's the middle of the third and I've managed to act like a regular fan.

Cheering when appropriate and booing when needed.

We are winning 3-0 and are probably going to take home the shutout.

"Hey I'm gonna go to the washroom." I tell Kelsey.

I head to the washroom, into the stall and sit on the seat.

I muffle my sobs with my sleeves. I hate attention. I'll be damned if someone hears me.

I feel like shit.

"I thought you said crying makes you relaxed?"

"I did. But after you cry. It might not feel nice in the moment but you will feel better after you let it out."

"Do you feel better now?"

"I do, you're right. Thanks dada."

Next thing I know I'm leaving the stall dialling my dad.

"Hello, hello! How's my favourite daughter?"

"I'm your only daughter dad." I sniffle.

"That doesn't matte- are you crying?"

"I was," I sigh, "I don't really want to get into the specifics but everything is just so overwhelming." I whisper the end trying not to cry again.

"Um, I'm at a hockey game." I smile. "And I sat through almost the whole game."

"It sucks dad."

"Dad?"

"Yea, sorry. I'm just trying not to break down and be there for you but it's so hard knowing you can't do what you love right now. What makes you happy. I know you probably want me to tell you to move on, find other passions and look for happiness elsewhere. I'm not going to do that. You know what's right for you and you can take your time to figure it out. Everything is new but time heals Kira."

"Thanks, dad."

"Always. But a piece of advice?"

"Yea?"

"Don't try to run from your life with a new one. It's never too late to fix things. No problem is too big to solve remember that."

"Lucia! There you are." Kelsey calls out from down the hall. People start exiting so I assume the game is over.

"Gotta go dad, love you."

"Love you too."

I hang up the phone as Kelsey gets to me.

"Everything okay?" She asks.

"Yea. Actually no. There's something I have to tell you."