Dear diary:
I just wish I had somewhere to go
Someone to talk to, someone to go to
Because some days like today
I can't take it anymore
Nothing I ever do seems to be enough or perfect
So I get nothing but a bad treatment
The kind of treatment I have never seen my siblings get
So I just sit here and wonder why?
I give my best I swear I do
And sometimes even more
And I bottle all this feelings up
And try not to cry in front of them
Because like one of my favorite songs says
"I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with"
Sometimes I wish life was different
That I had people who really loved me
Who would stay with me
So I wouldn't have to cry myself to sleep
Or wake in the middle of the night sobbing quietly after another nightmare
And it's just sometimes really all too much
And I'm breaking down even more often than before
Life only seems to get worse
Never better
And even if I had someone that witch would probably go away really soon
Because who could bear with me and all my demons?
Probably no one ever
So for now I'll just write my feelings down here
And try to hold on before....
I won't even finish that phrase
