When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

2. bad guy

Good weekend.

Alfa Romeo had better weekend that they thought. Räikkönen was p13 and Giovinazzi p11 so both of them were very close to score some points.

Callum was happy when the team around him was happy, that's why he loved Alfa Romeo. They tried always be positive and supportive.

Callum also saw Mick and Haas didn't have so good weekend but when he tried to reach Mick he didn't found him and thought he had already left or is asleep.

Then he finally planned meeting with Mick but then he had to cancel the plans because he had things to solve with the team before heading to home. It made him feel awful when he had to cancel because he knew then they would see next time in Mexico or something.

Mick went to Switzerland with his family while Callum went back to the UK. Callum missed Mick so fucking much that he wanted to call him and never end the call.

Mick voice was pretty, but especially when he spoke German, his voice was sweet. He had light accent when he spoke English but Callum loved it, he loved when he had stronger accent in some words.

That's what he meant. Again.

again.

Mick was on his mind, why? He definitely wasn't ready for relationship because he has just broken up with his girlfriend. Mick wasn't even into him.

They for sure loved each other. Like friends did of course, they've been friends for how long. He loved their friendship more than anything, he couldn't lose it.

Callum was now heading to UK all alone and he would probably spend the whole week alone in his apartment because all of his friends were somewhere else than the UK. Callum didn't feel like being at home all alone, he didn't want to. he wanted Mick, or someone. Just someone. He didn't want to be alone. Not right now. But Mick was somewhere with his family. Probably in Switzerland or Germany, he didn't really know.

Callum didn't want to admit it even to himself he was in love with Mick. He couldn't be. He has just broken up and Mick is probably focusing on his career since he hasn't seen anybody since March and to Mick they were just friends.

Friends. Callum hated the word. It wasn't the word he wanted to use when the talked about Mick, there was something between them. Something different and Callum hated it.

He used to get everything he wanted, now there was two fucking things he couldn't get. Mick and the second one didn't matter right now. Callum deep inside himself knew he wasn't ready for relationship. Not yet.

It was rainy day in UK. Callum just stepped out of the plane. Just casual weather in London. Cold, windy and rainy. It was November.

Callum spend his week alone in his apartment just like he feared. He missed Mick like crazy but he didn't tell him he would've think he was going fucking crazy.

But then he did it, he called Mick. Three times. He didn't answer. Maybe he didn't want to talk to Callum. It's been three hours since Callum has called to Mick. It was something 3am when Mick called him back.

M: "hi, Callum"
C: "MICK, oh mate I thought you died. Wait- you were sleeping weren't you?"

Shit, shit, shit, shit, it's two in the morning for Mick and he has woken up and called me. Callum thought and immediately felt bad, he could've just kept sleeping Callum wasn't anything that important.

M: "yeah, I'm sorry I didn't hear you calling"
C: "it's alright don't worry. I just wanted to call you, since we couldn't meet up, so sorry about that."
M: "I get that you had to cancel it's okay, so how are you?"
C: "yeah well obviously not so good lot of things had happened lately, firstly we broke up."

He wasn't meant to say that. Fuck.

M: "are you okay?? I'm so sorry."
C: "no it's fine, it is what it is"
M: "I'm glad to hear you're feeling well."

Only if he knew how Callum was struggling. All the fucking time but no one knew about it of course not. People would think he is weak if they'd know. Callum did not want that.

They talked little longer, Callum told to Mick how Juan had moved to a new house in England and other stories he wanted to tell Mick when they were about to meet but couldn't.

Callum loved talking to Mick. He always had the feeling Mick listened to him. Every stupid detail he told about everything.

Then when they ended the call Callum fell asleep almost right after. It relaxed him when he talked to Mick. Mick's voice was soft and calmed him down. Like a voice of an angel. Mick sounded like an angel and he was an angel. So kind and caring. Never done anything bad to anyone. You just couldn't hate him at all.

Rest of the week went slowly. One thing stayed on Callum's mind when he left his apartment after the week. He was no longer sober. He did it again. He tried everything to stay away from self harming but he couldn't. The pain inside of him was too much to him to handle.

New straight red lines on his thighs. He couldn't stop. 81 healed and not so healed, old and new scars. It was an addiction. Callum knew it. Nobody else didn't. Not even Mick. He would've just gotten mad. He would've been disappointed. He was his best friends but he just couldn't tell him.

But now he was stepping to a new plane heading to Mexico. Last tripleheader of the year. Only 5 races left with Alfa Romeo. They were like a family to him, he didn't want to leave them, but after the year he was no longer part of the team. He didn't want this to end but everything must come to an end.

end.