Unexpected

Chapter 7

BARKHA

I took a bite of the homemade sandwich I was eating. We were outside the lawn across from the practice fields. I was avoiding the cafeteria. Matt eats there. He has the same lunch hour as we do and always will be there with his gang. And I was still not okay about seeing him. It brought that night's memories back. And I certainly could not eat peacefully in his presence. I feel like throwing up when I see him.

"Damn it's too dusty today," Hailey complained sitting back. Yes, the soccer team was having some practice run on the field and it was getting dusty. "We should start eating at the cafeteria again." She dug through her salad.

"Hm..." I just nodded.

"Did you even hear me?"

"Yes."

"You know, you should not hide from Matt," Hailey told me for the nth time.

"I am not hiding," I replied to her like always. "I just need some time... I will be alright in a while." My voice was small.

"You okay?" Hailey sat closer to me. I nodded and smiled at her. "Yeah, I am."

"Barkha, you should seriously stop lying about how you feel." She said.

"I don't," I said.

And she gave me a look. That look. I shook my head and ate the ham and lettuce sandwich I made that morning. As an Indian, I was not used to products like bacon and ham. I was never a vegetarian. But we don't use bacon and ham in daily life. But I was adapting to life here.

"Don't take this in a wrong way Barkha, but maybe you should go to a therapist..."Hailey said, in a worried voice. "I mean, with your parents passing and what happened with Matt, you are going through a lot."

"I am fine." I lied again. I don't know why I keep doing that. But Hailey is right. I do lie about my emotions.

"But..." Hailey started.

"I am from India. We deal with our problems by ourselves there. Mostly."

"That is not healthy."

"I know. But I won't make Mahesh uncle and Ganga aunty afford therapy. I am fine. I will be fine. This is no big deal. I will deal with it my own way."

"Fine, if you want it like that," Hailey said. "But at least, tell your aunty that you hate your bedroom." She always pronounces the word 'aunty' do dramatically as if the word is so alien for her. I guess it is. Since she does not call anyone in her life as aunty or even aunt. She told me that she refer to her mother's sister by name. I can never imagine calling my 'masi' by name.

"I don't hate it."

"Are you kidding me? It is too pink and white... The only thing missing in it is a unicorn." I laughed. "At least add some personality to it. Paste some posters and all."

I did want to put posters. I had posters on the walls of my original bedroom back home. Here, I did not want to ruin the walls. Ganga aunty had put so much effort into decorating the room for me.

"Fine," I said.

"Great. I know a place that will print posters. They do it cheaper than other places. So let's go there after school. I'll drive you." Hailey had recently got her driving license.

After lunch was chemistry class and Hailey was not in the class with me. Junho and Samay were. I bumped into Samay as I was entering the class. He turned to see who bumped into him and our eyes met.