The Legend of the Jedi Queen

76. Heart of the Matter

"Come on," Nellith said, beckoning to Tallis. "I want to talk to you. Alone."

Ben narrowed his eyes. "Leave the door open."

"Of course, Dad," Nellith said, with a serene yet solemn nod. She clenched her hands into fists to try and release some of her pain. Her nails dug into the palms of her hands, biting the skin. Of course she noticed. Every sensation was like a live wire. She could only barely stand the clothes over her skin, the sensation of her hair, any of it.

They entered what seemed to have been an old nursery on the ship, and Tallis sat down, Nellith across from him.

"We need to talk," Nellith said. "Lots of things happened on Mortis. . . And I'm not sure I want to defend you yet. I will, no matter what, but I'd rather want to."

Tallis nodded, his expression still stoic.

"What did you mean when you said what you did wasn't for Abeloth, never for her?" Nellith asked. "Who did you do it for?"

His newly red-rimmed yellow eyes shot her a piercing stare. "I thought you knew."

"I'm not sure I do," Nellith said.

"I did it all for you," he said. "I joined for you, so I could save you from the other Jedi—"

"I knew that part," Nellith said hastily.

"And I planned what we just did so it could be all over," Tallis said. "Not just for you, but for everyone. I'm sorry if I hurt you in the process."

"You still have light within you," Nellith realized. "You've never been as selfish as the true darkness."

"I can't let others suffer," Tallis said. "I can keep suffering all the time, that's fine. I can take it. But others shouldn't have to pay for Abeloth and Andromeda's war."

"That's why the war stopped on Corellia," Nellith said. "You did it to save your home planet."

"Yes," he said, nodding emphatically.

"You have a plan now, don't you," Nellith said. It wasn't a question.

"Yes," Tallis admitted.

"Are you going to tell me?" Nellith asked.

"No," Tallis said simply.

"Why not?" Nellith demanded. "Don't you trust me?"

"You wouldn't like it," Tallis said, running his finger along the grate pattern on the floor.

Nellith bit her lip, deciding to table the discussion, to a more important one on her mind.

"You did it because you loved me," Nellith said. "All of it."

He looked up, the yellow a little faded. "I still do. Love you, I mean."

"Oh," was all Nellith said.

"If you don't love me back, I understand," he said. "I just want you know that it doesn't have any strings attached. You don't owe me your love in return, it has nothing to do with me. I love you for free."

"I love you, too," Nellith said. "Unconditionally."

There was a slight smile on his face. "That's the first time I've heard that in a long time."

"Your mother?" Nellith asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah," he said. He looked down at the grates on the floor. "Is it true, that my father was looking for me?"

"Yes," Nellith said. "He wants to make up all that lost time. He's been devastated, all this time. You two were finally beginning to reconcile, and then the Second Order ruined everything."

"I was too harsh about him before," Tallis admitted. "With the Font of Knowledge. . . I know now so much more. I can see my past now, and not just from my point of view."

Nellith smiled and reached out a hand for his. He accepted it, and now Nellith instantly felt at ease. The rest of her senses had become white noise compared to the serene brilliance in front of her.

"We can do this," Nellith promised. "As long as we work together."

"Together," Tallis said.

"And I want to undo what we've done to ourselves, when this is all over," Nellith said.

"I agree," Tallis said.

"Good," Nellith said.

The two just sat there, for a moment, and then Nellith was elsewhere. It was like in one of her visions of the Throne of Balance. And there were two endings lined out in front of her. The fight with Abeloth was still up in the air, but she realized something at last.

The Throne of Balance was key to all of this. And she was the only one who could wield its power over the Force.

Her eyes opened just as Ben walked into the back to investigate.

"We need to find the Throne of Balance!" Nellith cried, gasping for air. "It's the only way!"

"What?" Ben asked.

Nellith looked over her shoulder. "Dad! The Throne of Balance will change the tide of the war and end it, I know it!"

Ben stiffened. "Rey said that, too."

Nellith got to her feet. "We'll need to consult all the archives we have when we get to Uphatu."

Ben nodded. "Jaina and the rest of the Jedi have been working on that while we've been doing this rescue mission. We're going to end this, I promise."

Nellith hugged her father. "I hope so."