My Little Family <3 | Doah Story

part 11 | i'm n-not ready

~ March 4th, 2024.. 1 week since the scare ~

Dixie's POV-

I'm 35 weeks today, and oh am I so ready to meet my little princess. I don't even know what it's like to be a mom, but what I do know is that I feel so connected to her already. I do daily check-ins with her as if she could respond back, but it still melts my heart every time. I love talking to her about what life is like in the real world, and how excited Noah and I are to have her here. I think her little kicks are a way of telling us she loves us, but maybe I'm just too obsessed with her.

To be quite honest these past few weeks have been hell for me not only physically but mentally. Ever since my miscarriage scare I haven't felt the same. My anxiety has random peaks throughout the day, whenever I feel a slight change in movement from the baby my mind starts racing, and I've had 2 nightmares about the whole situation in just 4 days. I don't know if the doctor was trying to make things worse, but her telling me that the baby is nearing birth when I'm not even full term yet makes me sick to my stomach. Im scared.. I thought everyone had a normal first pregnancy, and was able to make it full term that might not be the case for us.

I woke up early this morning having a horrible anxiety attack, which hasn't happened in a while, but I just couldn't help it.

~ 2:25 a.m. March 4th ~

Noah's POV-

Dixie and I have been at home a lot recently since the incident. It really affected Dixie, and I can't even imagine how it feels to go through something like that. She hasn't been herself this week, and this morning was heartbreaking for me.

Dixie and I fell asleep around 12:30 am, and I was awoken by hitched breathing, and silent cries at around 2:30 am. I turn over and look up to see Dixie violently shaking with her face buried in her hands as she couldn't reach her knees. "Dixie oh my god are you okay?" I asked her as I scooted over closer to her bringing her into my embrace.

"N-NO IM NOT O-OKA-" she cried out.. her screams getting louder each time she tried to speak but was quickly cut off as she couldn't form the words. "Oh sweetheart come here, you're ok shhhh." I told her swaying us back and forth. "I'm sc-scared." She told me, fidgeting with her fingers as her lips trembled. "It's happening again isn't it baby." I asked sounding heartbroken. "M-Mhm." She replied as she started to cry again, but this time holding on to me for dear life like I was about to disappear. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere I promise." I told her as I brought her into a hug that I hope made her feel safe and comfortable.

We stayed like this for a while until she calmed down enough to look up at me without breaking down. "Baby am I gonna be okay?" She asked sounding worried. "Yes my love, you and little princess are both perfectly fine." I replied with a smile. "I-I just feel nervous because the Dr. said that I could go into labour at any time, b-but I'm not even full term ye-" She told me, but looked away at the end as her eyes started to form tears again. "Come here it's okay, please don't cry." I told her bringing her in close again. "W-Will she be ok even if she's born early?" She asked, in desperate need of an answer.. only one in this case. "Yes of course she'll be ok!" I told her caressing her cheek.

"I'm just n-not ready Noah, I can't stop her from coming but I just.." She rambled on, but I stopped her with a kiss. "That's right.. you can't stop her from coming, so she's gonna come when she's ready. I reassured her that everything happening was normal. "Look at it this way.. Baby's grow up until 40 weeks and are then brought into the world. Think of all the mommy's that have little ones in the hospital because they were born wayyy too early. They can't survive on their own so they need help. Our little girl is still growing, but if she's born early, she might just be a little smaller than she should be. She's not gonna need to stay in the hospital, or be kept in the NICU, I promise." I told Dixie, giving her a kiss on her temple. "Ok, that makes me feel a little better. I couldn't stand to see my baby hooked up to a machine, I just couldn't." She told me, and I agreed.