deja vu | sapnap

15

"Bonjour! Craw daddy's home and he's ready to see his craw kids! Who's home? Dream? Shay? Patches? Fine, Drista?"

Shay emerges from the kitchen, holding a takeout container, eating noodles out of the box with a plastic fork. "You've been watching too much New Girl. Welcome home, Nick."

"Hey Shaz," he smiles, dropping his bag on the ground.

She scrunches her nose, furrowing her eyebrows. "You haven't called me that in years." 

"Habit. Sorry. Just happy to be home," Sapnap shrugs.

"It's okay, Sapz. I don't mind. I ordered extra if you're hungry, Dream went home to see his mom." He watched as she went back into the kitchen, sitting at the island and continuing her homework that she had procrastinated on. She seemed... different. Like she was herself again. Sapnap had realized that Shay always avoided conversation with him any time they were alone together, or she seemed awfully timid. Which wasn't like the Shay he knew.

"So what are you up to today?" He asked, popping a piece of her chicken into his mouth.

"Just homework and whatever. I might try to stream today too, it's been so long. How was your trip?"

"Good. I missed Karl a lot and it was a lot of fun. And if you want someone to join you on stream I'd be happy to. I know you don't like streaming by yourself."

Shay's stomach fluttered, and she gulped down her lunch to save herself from doing anything embarrassing. "Yeah," she grinned, "that would be nice. Thanks. Oh, your sweatshirt is in your room. Rella brought it over and Dream put it in there. Whoever bought that must have good taste."

Sapnap nodded before leaving the kitchen and bringing his bags to his room. The sweatshirt was neatly folded at the edge of his bed, and he held it up as he sank into the comforter. He sighed as he pulled the front of the hoodie down to read the tag.

i love you sapz <3

He'd be lying if Shay's presence in the house hadn't made him wonder what his life would be like if they'd never broken up. They'd probably be living together, either in Florida or in Texas. Sapnap guessed that happened anyway, since she was living only a door away. He did miss her, he'd just been preoccupying himself with anything that would get his mind off of her. Hurting Shay was the last thing he ever wanted to do. Sapnap promised himself the day he left that he would never do it again. 

The house was quiet for the rest of the night. Shay didn't end up streaming and Dream texted in their group that he would be staying at home with his siblings since their parents were having date night until late. 

It was now 2 am and the exes laid in their beds, quietly staring at the ceiling. Sapnap sat up and stared at his door, as if he could see hers through it. Carefully opening the door, he stood in his room, looking at the 3 foot gap that divided him and Shay. He stepped foot into the hall, nearly reaching her door.

The door swung open, revealing a disheveled Shay who was just looking to get some water. She jumped, letting out a little yelp.

"Sorry," he cringed, scaring her was not what he intended. Honestly, he didn't even know what he was going to do after knocking.

"What are you doing?"

"I was just about to knock. I couldn't sleep."

"Oh. Me neither. I was just about to get some water. Do you want to come?"

"Sure."

They shuffled to the kitchen, Shay behind Sapnap as he lead the way, mentally punching himself.

"What's on your mind?" Shay asked, peeking over the brim of her glass.

"What?"

She set the glass down, crossing her arms. "You said you couldn't sleep. Which means you have something on your mind because you're usually out like a light."

He hated and loved that she could still read him. 

"Just thinking about life," he paused. "And us."

"Us?" Shay did not think he would be thinking about 'us.'

"Yeah, like uh George and Dream and us. You know, how crazy our lives are," Sapnap scratched his neck, hoping to cover up his lie.

Shay picked up the glass again. "I don't know why you insist on lying to me. What about 'us'?"

Sapnap let out the breath he was holding. "How did you know I was lying?"

"Because I know you. And you have a tell."

"Fine. I was just thinking about our life in Texas. And how different but not really different it is now."

"I miss it sometimes. And I miss Texas. Your mom misses you."

He raised an eyebrow.

"We text."

"You text my mom? Still?" Sapnap smiled.

"What can I say, she loves me like a daughter."

"She always did love you more than me." Their laughs fill the kitchen. They stood in silence for a few moments, reminiscing their times together.

"Alright, I'm going to bed. It's way past my bedtime anyway. You're okay?"

"Yeah," Sapnap nods, feeling much better.

She walked back towards her room, as Sapnap stared at his cup, tapping his fingers against it. Setting it in the sink, he followed her down the hall, putting his foot in the door right before Shay closed it.

"Can I just-- stay with you tonight?"

"I-" She had to pause to think. Dream and her agreed that she would move forward, and she'd been doing so well not overwhelming herself with, well, him. Fuck it, she thought. "Yeah."

Shay shut the door behind him and laid down, tucking herself under the covers, leaving room for him on the side she knew he preferred. Sapnap stood, hesitating, before laying down next to her. He desperately wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around her, and she desperately wanted to turn around and bury herself into the crook of his neck that she knew so well. 

And sometime during the night, they both got what they wanted.