Reproduction Genius

The Unexpected Surprise

"Son, me and your mother have something to announce to you." My father crossed his arms and sighed.

I was in the living room with my parents, my father and mother sitting across from me.

I was confused on why my parents were interrogating me, since their surprises usually has like a present involved, but this time it was quite strange.

"Um...soooo..where's the present?" I asked, in hopes to break the silence. My mother just smiled happily and my father looked straight-up disappointed.

Sometimes, I wonder how the two even managed to work out their entire relationship. Weren't they engaged since childhood?!

My mother slowly responded with, "Well..Elis..dear..."

"You're going to be a brother. Your mother is pregnant, son." My father finished for her.

What...? It's just been 3 weeks, and it worked. I couldn't believe it worked. At first, I thought that grandfather was going insane, because even an old man like him knows damn well that a baby won't come if you pop some goddamn balloon packets.

But it was successful...somehow. I don't care though. I finally won't be alone in this world, I'll have someone. And no matter what, I will protect them.

I tried to keep a calm face and replied, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"We don't know yet. The hospital will give us more information about it soon." Mother said as she rested her head on my father's lap.

"You're dismissed." Father said and I couldn't be more happier getting out of there. Yes, I'll be a brother finally.. but the air in there was awkward and silent.

I ran to my father's office quicky, and used the telephone to dial a certain number.

"Midford Residence. How may I help you?" A maid picked up the phone and spoke on the other line.

"Hello, may I speak to Lady Aliceanne Midford?" I cleared my throat, pretending like I was older.

"And who might you be?" The maid asked me, questionably. I didn't blame her though, imagine a 23 year old trying to talk to a kid who barely reached 10 years of age.

I sighed and returned to my normal pitch of voice, knowing that if I said my real name with faking my voice, she would hang up and the Scotland Yard would be damaging and rifling through every single room in this building.

"Sir Elis of Phantomhive."

"Oh, of course. I'll get her on the phone, apologies for the inconvenience." Yeah bitch, you better fuckin' apologize, because you just wasted 5 minutes of my life on this goddamn telephone that I will break in the next five minutes if Alice doesn't hurry the fuck up.

"The fuck you want? I'm fucking drawing, goddamnit." Alice said in an irritated tone. I scoffed and replied with, "Put your paper and glass pen down, cause I have to tell you something."

I heard her audibly gasp and say, "DID AURELIA AND ISABELLA FIGHT-" I interrupted her rudely. "No, but it's about my parents." She let out another dramatic gasp. "Did your parents split? So sorry for saying this but I expected it. They're both polar opposites and probably secretly can't stand eachother and just stay for you. If you never existed, they would already break off the engagement on the first place."

"The only thing that's going to be split up is your fucking head and neck when I behead you, bitch. Stop assuming shit, they're perfectly stable even if you don't see it." I spat back.

She answered with, "Whatever. I bet the divorce papers are already there, in case you die of a freaky accident or whatever."

"If they despised eachother, then why is my mother pregnant with a literal baby inside her as we speak?" I said and she just stayed silent.

"So that's what you called me for? Damn, should've said that in the first place without making it all complicated." She now spoke up.

"We can talk about it all tomorrow. It's nightfall and I'm exhausted today." I replied while yawning, and she agreed too. "Yeah, see you later, Elis."

"See ya." I replied then hung up.

I yawned once again, then walked up the steps to my room, and jumped on my bed to fall into my own slumber.