12 Nights of Christmas (Jake x Johnnie)

Night Four

Like the secret santa had asked, I found myself at the mall. I hadn't been given a particular location, so I sat on a bench in the middle. I looked left and right, hoping to see the person. A familiar tuff of pink hair came walking up to me. A grin was on his face. "Are you surprised?" He asked.

Jake. It had been Jake this whole time. I really couldn't be too much more surprised. My mouth even popped open a little bit in surprise. "Jake? It was you this whole time?"

On one of his wrists was a small present bag. "Here's your fourth one."

I took it, shaking my head. "I don't understand. What about Maddy?"

At that question, Jake frowned. "What about her? I haven't thought about her for months. I want you, Johnnie. I wanna be with you." He pointed to the bag. "Will you open that?"

I took the tuff of tissue paper out, revealing a small bottle of  cologne. I took the plastic off of the cap, smelling it. "Wow," I sighed. "That's really good, actually."

"I knew you'd like it. See? I know you so well." He sat next to me. "Please don't push me away, Johnnie. I'm falling in love with you." My head snapped up at the comment. Me? Falling in love with me?

"Why?" I stood up. "Why would you ever want someone like me?"

"Please, sit back down." His eyes and hands pled, begging me deeply to stay. "I don't want the last time I ever see you to end like this."

I threw my arms up in frustration. "What do you expect from me? I'm way too much of a screw-up for a kiss!"

"Don't say that! I managed to get you down here. I managed to find out that you're still alive and going. And I know you're liking this affection despite yourself."

"I don't want your affection, Jake." I started to back away from him. "Save it for someone else. Someone who really deserves it."

"But you do deserve it! That's why I bought you twelve fucking secret santa presents. That's why I made Jordan start this to begin with!" He covered his mouth.

"I don't know if that's really selfish, or really selfless. If you wanted to tell me you loved me so badly, you should've remembered that it was me. Unlovable, broken, damaged me."

"I can help you."

"Don't try to be my savior."

"I'm not trying to. All I ask is that you let me in." He offered a reassuring smile. "Please, Johnnie. You're the only person I've got this Christmas. Don't spend it alone. Don't let me spend it alone."

I turned around, walking away. "Merry Christmas, Jake. I hope you find what you're looking for in someone else. You deserve someone as special as you are. Someone that's not me." I felt my breath hitch, my voice go up an octave for a second. Pushing him away was the right thing to do, but it still hurt.

He didn't do anything to deserve me, but a part of me really wanted him to stay.